By Peter Carlson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Is it just me or is the world getting weirder?
The other day, I'm reading an article in the latest issue of the New Yorker -- "Whatever It Takes" by Jane Mayer -- and for a while I couldn't tell if it was an outrageous satire or a simple, factual depiction of a world gone mad. It turns out the story is true. Maybe that's why it's laugh-out-loud funny. These days, reality is funnier than satire.
The key scene in Mayer's story occurred last November, when Brig. Gen. Patrick Finnegan, the dean of West Point, decided that he needed to do something to end the horror of Americans torturing prisoners. So he gathered three of the top military and FBI interrogation experts and they headed for the airport.
Did they fly to Abu Ghraib? No. Guantanamo? No. One of those secret prisons where the CIA allegedly tortures terror suspects? Nope.
Finnegan and his experts flew to Hollywood to meet the producers of the TV show "24," so Finnegan could urge them to stop the actors who play American agents from pretending to torture the actors who play terrorists in the show.
Really. This actually happened.
The problem, Finnegan told Mayer, is that his students at West Point see Americans torturing terrorists on "24" -- which happens nearly every week -- and they wonder why they're not supposed to do it in real life: "The kids see it, and say, 'If torture is wrong, what about "24"?' " he says.
Gee, if these cadets can't tell the difference between TV and reality, I sure hope they're not watching "Superman" reruns. They might try to fly out windows or catch bullets.
But wait. The story gets better. When the general arrives at the studio, wearing a uniform decorated with countless ribbons, people figure he's an actor playing a general and they ask when his scene will be shot. Then, at the meeting, one of Finnegan's experts suggests some non-abusive interrogation techniques including -- get this! -- "giving suspects a postcard to send home, thereby learning the name and address of their next of kin."
And when the show's lead writer, Howard Gordon, hears that, he slams his fist on the table and says, "You're hired!"
Do you see why I thought this might be satire?
Am I crazy or is attacking torture by lobbying the producers of "24" almost as ridiculous as trying to make nuclear power plants safer by urging the producers of "The Simpsons" to stop letting Homer play with plutonium in the lunchroom of the Springfield nuke plant?
For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching "24," and it is a pleasure if you have a strong stomach, here's a bit of background: The Emmy-winning show depicts the amazing adventures of agent Jack Bauer, who specializes in stopping terrorists from blowing up America. Nearly every week, terrorists torture Jack, or Jack tortures terrorists, or both. In one episode, the president orders a Secret Service agent to torture his national security adviser, whom he suspects of treason.
The show, as Gordon tells Mayer, consists largely of "improvisations in sadism." Not surprisingly, "24" is very popular in the Bush administration.
Last March, Rush Limbaugh hosted a dinner for "24's" executive producer, Joel Surnow, and invited Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, Virginia, who works at the conservative Heritage Foundation. (Wouldn't it have been fun to be a fly on that wall?) Inspired by the dinner, Virginia Thomas organized a full-blown Heritage symposium with the wonderful title " '24' and America's Image in Fighting Terrorism: Fact, Fiction, or Does It Matter?" Michael Chertoff, the real-life homeland security secretary, showed up to praise the show, saying, "Frankly, it reflects real life."
After the symposium, Surnow and other "24" honchos went to the White House to dine with Karl Rove, Tony Snow, Lynne Cheney and Mary Cheney.
"People in the administration love the series," says Surnow, who described himself to Mayer as a "right-wing nut job."
He was joking, sort of, but he does hang out in what might be called the "right-wing nut job community." He's pals with the twin blond bomb throwers of the right -- Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham. Coulter and Surnow have discussed collaborating on what Surnow describes as "a movie that depicted Joe McCarthy as an American hero." And Ingraham invited Surnow on her radio show and then informed the world that while she was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, "it was soothing to see Jack Bauer torture these terrorists, and I felt better."
Satire? Who needs satire?
As for Limbaugh, Mayer asks him about "24's" treatment of torture and he replies, "It's just a television show! Get a grip."
Good advice. Let's hope Gen. Finnegan and his cadets heed it.
Meanwhile, when Rush Limbaugh becomes the voice of sweet reason, you know the world is getting very weird indeed.
Happy EndingMark Bowden knows how to tell a good story.
In "Black Hawk Down," he told the story of U.S. troops losing a street fight in Somalia. In "Guests of the Ayatollah," he told the story of the 1979 hostage crisis in Tehran. Now, Bowden has written a wonderful piece called "Jihadists in Paradise," published in the March issue of the Atlantic. It's a long, compelling account of a success in the war on terrorism -- the tracking and killing of a band of Islamist guerrillas in the Philippines.
On May 27, 2001, the guerrillas kidnapped 20 people, including three Americans, at a beach resort and marched them into a dense jungle. The group's leader, a thug who called himself Abu Sabaya, used his cellphone to call radio stations to brag and demand ransom. But this was before 9/11 and the U.S. government didn't pay much attention. After 9/11, the Americans took notice and sent a CIA agent to help a tenacious Filipino marine officer to nail Sabaya.
I don't want to spoil the dramatic story but it's worth noting that the good guys win without torturing anybody. In the real world, good old-fashioned police work does the trick without any sadistic heroics from Jack Bauer.
The Two-Piece BandThe 2007 edition of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has arrived. Its theme is music and it features the "guitar-pick bikini," which is a bikini made of guitar picks, and not that many of them.
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