After the Tears

"Any organization that profits from breasts should partner with people who need them," called out the husky-voiced Savoretti, who formed a nonprofit group called My Hope Chest.

Only 3 percent of breast cancer patients are under the age of 40. Of course, that number certainly feels larger if you happen to find yourself as one of those 250,000 women in the United States living with breast cancer.

Treatment can be as disturbing and isolating as the diagnosis since the cancer ward is often filled with much older women, including grandmothers who talk about how relieved they are that at least they got a chance to see their grandchildren born. Young patients desperately crave help with fertility issues, dating, stalled careers and where to, say, buy the best eyelashes.

"One second you're a young, healthy, energetic, sexy woman ready for late nights out with friends, marriage, and maybe children," said Amy Ebeid, an Alexandria resident who received her diagnosis at 28, 10 weeks after her wedding. "The next second, you're bald, boobless, and having hot flashes that could set a small country on fire. Your biggest achievement of the day is that you were able to stay awake until 10 p.m."

I met Amy and many fantastic young women like her at a support group at Georgetown Hospital, where the group offers tips on the best anti-nausea and constipation pills, how to deal with the pain of being unable to have children when so many of your peers are pregnant, and tips on the best sales for when you need retail therapy.

I felt good when I saw so many warm friendships like mine mirrored at the conference. One of the most frequently overheard coos was, "I love your NEW hair," as the women touched the baby-fine growth. While the conference had workshops on radiation therapy and chemotherapy, the most popular seminar in this crowd was on sex therapy, called "Reawakening Venus: Reclaiming and Embracing Your Sexual Self."

At points the laughter was so enthusiastic that the nearby "Understanding Pain Management" and "Genetic Testing" audiences couldn't hear their lecturers.

During the session, a young woman with pretty brown curls and metastasized cancer in her spinal cord struggled up to the microphone and said, "My walker is not terribly sexy."

Though she was recently married, the cancer had made it impossible for her to have sex. "I feel so bad for my husband," she said, as several other women started to weep.

The Bethesda sex therapist running the seminar suggested kissing, exploring how lips are the most sensitive part of the body.

The young woman with the walker looked frustrated. Some in the audience looked happy that someone was trying to address the problem. And others just glared at the therapist.

On my way to the conference on Saturday, I got a call from Amy telling me that some women were going to be topless.