And if Anyone Asks Any Questions . . .

By Al Kamen
Friday, March 16, 2007

New federal employees are generally briefed about the ins and outs of their jobs, and they receive training on compliance with federal ethics regulations. But it's become painfully obvious in recent weeks that they need help on handling Congress and the media and on the proper use of e-mails when, as often happens, the subpoenas hit the fan.

This is hardly a new problem. For example, here's Ronald Reagan's chief of staff, Don Regan, explaining in late 1986 how $30 million could have been paid to the Nicaraguan Contras without his knowing about it.

"Does a bank president know whether a bank teller is fiddling around with the books?" Regan asked reporters. "No."

Within a few months Regan was taking up painting in retirement in North Carolina.

And here's Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, talking to reporters on Tuesday: "As we can all imagine, in an organization of 110,000 people, I am not aware of every bit of information that passes through the halls of the Department of Justice, nor am I aware of all decisions." Unclear what his hobbies are.

Before that, then-Army Surgeon General Kevin Kiley told a Senate committee looking into Walter Reed Hospital conditions: "I don't do barracks inspections."

The training, at a minimum, should reduce arrogance and defensiveness when the officials are taking heavy incoming. Admit problems, be humble, take the hits, promise to do better. It might not comport with your naturally arrogant or defensive character, but learn to fake it.

A second key component of the training would be proper e-mailing. Always assume it's possible that your administration may, at some point, have to deal with one or both bodies of Congress in the hands of your opponents. They will subpoena your e-mails. That can present problems. Ask former Gonzales chief of staff Kyle Sampson.

Now, That's How to Obfuscate

And now, in the midst of "Sunshine Week," celebrated by House passage Wednesday of major open-government legislation -- with Senate passage expected -- the National Security Archive announced yesterday the winner of its esteemed Rosemary Award.

The Rosemary honors President Richard M. Nixon's secretary, Rose Mary Woods, whose historic contortionist stretch at her desk caused her to "accidentally" erase 18 1/2 minutes of a tape of a key Watergate conversation.

The Rosemary is given each year to the federal agency that the Archive deems had the worst Freedom of Information Act compliance. And the winner is . . . the Air Force, which just edged out the FBI and U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services.

The Air Force had the distinction of having a substantial backlog on unfilled FOIA requests, explained Archive Director Tom Blanton, but that alone is not good enough to win.

After all, many agencies have serious personnel shortages, he said, making it difficult to fill requests on a timely basis. "So it has to be more than tardiness," Blanton said. "They really have to mess with a requester to win the award," so much so that the agency's incompetence has to border on the malevolent in order to be honored.

So how did the Air Force pull this off? The award notes that, in one instance, "the relevant documents were lost when an Air Force computer hard drive crashed; no paper copies were kept, and the Air Force does not know how many or which records were destroyed."

In addition, the FOIA information on the Air Force Web site is incorrect and out of date. Faxes sent to a number listed as the place to send FOIA requests for one Air Force component went instead to a room in the maternity ward of a hospital at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio. And a federal judge in April ruled that the Air Force had "failed miserably to handle . . . requests in a timely manner."

The award, a framed photo of Rose Mary Woods in action, will be sent to the Air Force's chief information officer, Lt. Gen. Michael W. Peterson, and to John Espinal, who runs the Air Force FOIA office.

The Justice Department made a spirited run, Blanton said, "but they did pretty well Web-posting the most commonly requested records." Last year's winner, the CIA, now simply has too much information on its Web site, so it lost out. The FBI was a solid contender because it answers 70 percent of requests by saying there are no relevant records, "which is demonstrably false," Blanton said.

Citizenship and Immigration Services, another finalist, has nearly 40 percent of the total backlog of FOIA requests -- 75,000 of 200,000 -- carried over from year to year. "They are probably the leading contender for next year's Rosemary," Blanton said.

There's still plenty of time . . .

Banishing Bush's 'Bad Spirits'

After every parade, campaign rally or street party, there's always some cleanup to do. After President Bush's less-than-triumphant tour of five countries in Latin America this week -- with anti-U.S. demonstrations and clashes at every stop -- there likely was more than the usual tidying to do.

Yesterday, Mayan priests in Guatemala spiritually "cleansed" a religious site of "bad spirits" after Bush visited on Monday, lighting candles in the four corners of the ruins to represent the elements and burning incense. They beat a ceremonial drum on the top of a pyramid at Iximche, capital of the pre-Hispanic Kaqchiqueles kingdom.

The priests said they wanted to purify the site before a visit by Bolivia's indigenous President Evo Morales later this month, Reuters reported. Morales is a pal of Venezuela's leftist president, Hugo Chávez.

A New Gig for a Former Congressman

Seven-term Republican House member Henry Bonilla, defeated in November after his Texas district was re-re-districted following a Supreme Court ruling, has been tapped to be ambassador to the Organization of American States, which is conveniently based here.

Bonilla replaces career Foreign Service officer John F. Maisto.