"Dancing With the Stars" (Channel 7 at 8) returns for a new season with a two-hour premiere episode as 11 new B-list celebrities take to the dance floor. This season's contestants: Paul McCartney ex Heather Mills, country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, boxer Laila Ali, former NBA star Clyde Drexler, talk show host Leeza Gibbons, "Beverly Hills, 90210" alum Ian Ziering, former "Cheers" star John Ratzenberger, former NSYNCer Joey Fatone, 2004 Miss USA Shandi Finnessey, Olympic speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno and model Paulina Porizkova.
"Deal or No Deal" (Channel 4 at 8) caters to the ladies tonight. The 26 models holding the suitcases are replaced by 26 hunky firemen and the game show features women contestants and an all-female audience.
Might Sarah on "Prison Break" (Channel 5 at 8) sacrifice her own life to see Michael and Lincoln go free? And might Vice President Daniels of "24" (Channel 5 at 9) engage in some illegal behavior to thwart more terrorist attacks?
Christine of "The New Adventues of Old Christine" (Channel 9, 8:30) competes with another woman (Sandra Bernhard) to get signatures for a petition on an environmental issue.
On "Two and a Half Men" (Channel 9 at 9), Alan comes to the realization that Jake is no longer a little boy when he notices how he has decorated his bedroom walls.
Triplet sisters on "CSI: Miami" (Channel 9 at 10) are suspects in the murder of a real estate mogul (Colin Ferguson).
Chris of "Everybody Hates Chris" (Channel 50 at 8) is a big hit with the kids as a new DJ, until he accidentally scratches one of Mom's James Brown albums.
This afternoon, "Washington Post Live" debuts (Comcast SportsNet at 5). The program features Comcast SportsNet personalities and Post sports staff writers taking on local and national sports topics. The program, seen simultaneously on http:/
John Waters narrates the new series "'Til Death Do Us Part" (Court TV at 10), the first scripted series on the network. The anthology series focuses each week on a real-life marriage that ended in murder.
"Inside the Actors Studio" (Bravo at 8) interviews Mark Ruffalo.
Terrence Howard, Bruce Fine and the Jersey Boys appear on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" (Channel 4, 11:35). Adam Sandler, race car driver Danica Patrick and musical guest Lucinda Williams are on "Late Show With David Letterman" (Channel 9, 11:35).
-- John Maynard