And Thy Servant, Candi, Shall Cleave Unto Thee

Hooters announced yesterday that it will open its first restaurant in Israel this year in Tel Aviv. This sign of the End Times was foretold thousands of years ago in a little-known addendum to the final book of the New Testament:

Rev. 23: 1-4

{+1}And from the West came a harlot She-Beast bearing plates of strange food: fried rings of onion and wings of bison. {+2}And, verily I say unto thee, there also was in that place beer.

{+3}And the She-Beast had the eyes of a great owl that were painted with blue, and flaxen yellow hair that moved not when she did.

{+4}And the men of Judea stood in the shadow of the great She-Beast's bosom and tried to get her number.

-- Frank Ahrens