Tequila Dreams, And MySpace Viewers Fantasize

The real Madonna is wearing colored contacts; her hair is newly dyed, her bosom evidently enhanced. The Vietnamese vixen, who was born in Singapore, raised in Houston and now lives in Los Angeles, is sporting a white tunic and black stretch pants. She's incredibly petite -- barely five feet tall in her size 5 Marc Jacobs boots.

She's pinned behind a table and surrounded by dozens of young men (and a few girls), most of them wearing Mardi Gras-style beads and lascivious expressions. She smiles gamely. Poses for pictures. Signs her name on color photos in which she's wearing a tiny denim skirt and a heart-covered corset strategically unzipped just past her cleavage. She also rolls her eyes and sighs.

On one handout glossy, she scribbles a dirty message and a smiley face above her signature. "Download my single," she commands, handing the picture to a wide-eyed fan. Her supplicant nods, then high-fives a friend.

"I don't come across like this untouchable big star," says Tequila. "My fans get to interact with me. They look at me like, 'She's my homegirl. I'm going to support her.' "

So far, though, they haven't done so in large numbers in the commercial music realm.

On Tequila's MySpace page, where you can listen to free music, her songs (including a snippet of "I Love U") have generated more than 40 million spins. She regularly ranks among the site's top unsigned artists.

On iTunes, "I Love U" sold 14,000 99-cent downloads in its first week -- a figure that doesn't even equal 1 percent of Tequila's MySpace friends. The song was on the lower half of the iTunes Top 100 chart for about a week before it disappeared completely. (On the other hand, the revealing video -- given away free with the single -- went to No. 1 on iTunes. This may confirm that while boys will dial in for soft-core porn, music is a much harder sell.)

"There's no evidence that MySpace, in and of itself, can be the cornerstone of music industry success," says Glenn Peoples, founder and editor of the music business blog Coolfer.com. "Same with YouTube. It's one thing to sign up friends and get people to watch your videos at no charge. It's another to successfully navigate the worlds of digital and physical retail, publicity, promotion and marketing, and then motivate consumers to actually purchase your music."

Tequila isn't exactly going it alone in the music business. She's signed on with a major publicist whose clients include Aerosmith and the Coachella Valley Music Festival. "I Love U" was produced by the Grammy-winning hip-hop hitmaker Lil Jon, with whom Tequila shares an attorney. She's represented by United Talent Agency. (She has a role in an upcoming Adam Sandler film in which, she says, "I play one of his hot friends.") And she's signed on with Renshaw's firm, Strategic Artist Management -- though Renshaw says he's unsure how to measure Tequila's music industry accomplishments.

"The only way we're really going to be able to evaluate and judge what she does, to be crude about it, is to figure out at the end of the day what her brand is worth. How much revenue can she generate on an annual basis globally?" Noting Tequila's other revenue streams -- merchandise, personal appearances, sponsorships -- Renshaw says, "Music is just a minuscule piece of her overall business."

It might stay that way. Whereas the indie-rock band Clap Your Hands Say Yeah has become a self-sufficient success, thanks largely to buzz on sites including the influential webzine Pitchfork, Tequila is trying to break through in the pop space, which remains the domain of major-label artists. That's especially true on Top 40 radio, where saturation is critical to commercial success.

There are other hurdles, too, says Craig Marks, editor of Blender magazine. "Her problem is that she's just not that good. As a test case, I'm not sure she's going to measure up because I don't think she has the skill."

In her own defense (sort of), Tequila giggles, then quotes a fellow pinup.

"It's kind of like what Pamela Anderson said: She loves being the dumb blonde because if she finishes a full sentence, they think she's a genius. I totally wrote 'I Love U' in 10 minutes. It was just for fun. But I know my potential. When I go back to L.A., I'm going to write a radio hit and people will love it. It's going to surprise you."

She lights another cigarette, takes a swig from a can of Red Bull.

"And let's say it doesn't work. Okay, so [expletive] what? I'll just put out another one. And then another one. I'll do it until it works, even if it takes 20 songs." Ah, the limitless possibilities of cyberspace.