ASK AMY

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Dear Amy:

I have a 3-month-old daughter and have recently returned to my teaching job. I've been back at work for one month. My daughter stays with a day-care provider while I'm at work.

I pump my breasts at my job and nurse when I am with her.

On a couple of occasions during the last month, I have arrived at the sitter's house and she has told me that the baby is hungry, so I have breast-fed her there. This is by no means a daily event.

I asked the other mothers if anybody minded, and no one did.

Yesterday, the sitter informed me, very reluctantly, that one of the moms said that she was uncomfortable with me nursing. She said that she was worried that her husband might pick up their child and see me nursing.

As far as I know, her husband has never come to pick up their child -- at least during the time I've been there.

The sitter said that my nursing does not bother her. I hate to make anyone uncomfortable, but am I somehow out of line?

If the sitter doesn't have an issue and it is her home, should I even care what this other mother said? To be honest, one of the reasons I chose my sitter was because she was supportive of my choice to nurse.

What are your thoughts? Should I find another sitter?

Breast-feeding Mom

Your sitter is probably fine, though she does seem to have too high a tolerance for mommy-nonsense. She is running a business and trying to please and respect all of her clients but -- really -- the idea that nursing your baby is troublesome is completely absurd. She should have handled this by telling the other mother that it is her policy to encourage moms to feed their babies in whatever way they choose. She also should not have passed this unhelpful comment along to you.

The idea that breast-feeding a baby is at all controversial in this day and age is completely beyond me. The thought that -- horrors -- a dad might be traumatized (or turned on) if he sees a woman other than his wife feed her baby is ridiculous.

I hope that you'll learn how to disregard some of this nonsense like so much white noise from the baby monitor. Keep doing what you're doing, and if you don't find adequate support for your efforts, then you might need to find another day-care provider.

Dear Amy:

I'd like to respond to "Disgusted by This Tradition," the reader who was disgusted by the tradition of blowing out the candles.

I am a biologist, and while I agree that our society is germ-phobic, having someone blow on your food is just icky (yes, we use that term in the lab).

When kids blow out their candles, you can actually see the spit flying.

I simply think of the frosting as the "protective spit barrier" over the cake and scrape it off. Then I can enjoy the yummy spitless cake below.

Biologist From Long Island

Many readers were similarly grossed out at the thought of blowing out birthday candles.

Thank you for providing us with the technical term for this behavior: icky.

Write to Amy Dickinson ataskamy@tribune.comor Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

2007by the Chicago Tribune Distributed by Tribune Media Services Inc.