Bubbly and Small Talk With Her Majesty

"Thank you," she said, and turned to the next person in line.

It wasn't exactly tea for two. But the queen and I, we talked.

My moment with Elizabeth, the monarch since 1952, began with a gold-embossed invitation, which said: "The Master of the Household has received Her Majesty's command to invite" me to a Buckingham Palace reception on Tuesday evening for Americans working in the United Kingdom.

The queen and her husband, Prince Philip, the duke of Edinburgh, were having a few (hundred) Yanks around for champagne and nibbles ahead of her May trip to Jamestown, Washington and the Kentucky Derby.

Madonna blew off the queen, and Gwyneth Paltrow and Kevin Spacey didn't turn up either. But photographer Annie Leibovitz and plenty of bankers, lawyers, soldiers in uniform, students, diplomats and soccer players heeded the master of the household's beckoning.

There are rules for everything in Britain, so surely there must be rules for meeting the queen. So I called Robert Lacey, a leading British royal historian and the queen's biographer, for a beginner's tutorial.

"The queen has met people in all circumstances, from topless dancers in the South Seas to wigged characters in Europe," Lacey said. "She knows that for the person involved, it is a very important occasion, and she wants it to be a good experience for them. There's nothing much more to it than being natural."

That said, he offered tips: A curtsy or bow is not required anymore.

Address the queen as "Your Majesty" or "Ma'am." And remember, "Ma'am" rhymes with "ham." Don't call her "Mum," which suggests she is your mother.

"Oh, and don't call her Helen, either," Lacey said, referring to Helen Mirren's Oscar-winning portrayal of the queen.

Ideally, it is best to wait for the queen to offer her hand to shake, rather than reaching for hers. And, he said, "Bear in mind that the woman has one of the most shaken hands in the world, and she does appreciate a gentle touch."

Queen-meeting rules were much discussed by guests in the Throne Room, where the receiving line formed, and where the center of attention was two large chairs -- simpler than thrones from the movies -- stuffed softly in pink velvet with the queen's "ERII" monogram on one and a large P, for Philip, on the other.