The Many, and Healthy, Ways to Live With Cancer

When David Stellar found out his cancer was back -- this time in his lungs -- he sat down with his wife to talk about what they should do. It was a short conversation.

"Work is a low priority and family time is a high priority," Stellar said. "That was about it."

So the 46-year-old San Diego architect quit his job and has been spending the past four months trying to have as much fun as he can with his wife and 9-year-old son as he undergoes chemotherapy for the cancer, which began in his tonsils.

"We went snowboarding three times this winter, which was great," Stellar said. "We went to watch the whales and their babies last month. That was pretty cool. I'm going to ride my bike down with our dog this afternoon to pick up my son at school. It's been pretty life-changing."

The back-to-back announcements by Elizabeth Edwards and Tony Snow that they had suffered cancer recurrences has focused attention on how people respond when they get the news that they have cancer, or that their malignancy has returned.

For some, the news prompts radical life changes like Stellar's. For others, the diagnosis, while stunning, is quickly incorporated -- by choice or necessity -- into their lives, which they carry on as best they can, juggling cancer along with job, marriage and children.

Unlike a fatal injury, cancer plays out over months or years. Unlike an infectious disease, all reprieves inherently feel temporary. To fight cancer, patients and experts say, is to fight a never-ending battle against uncertainty and helplessness.

"It forever changes you," said Jackie Nedell, 53, who learned she had breast cancer four years ago. "I don't think anyone can ever say they are the same after the diagnosis."

Nedell knew she would have to take some time off from her job at a public relations agency for the worst of the chemotherapy. But she was eagerto get back to work.

"You crave normalcy," said Nedell, who lives in Bethesda. "I couldn't wait to get back to work. You want to reclaim as much of your life as quickly as you can."

The contrast between Stellar and Nedell mirrors the spectrum of reactions of cancer patients to their diagnoses, experts say.

"There's no one response to cancer. We're all unique," said Julia Rowland, director of the office of cancer survivorship at the National Cancer Institute. "How we cope with crises in our lives is as individual as we are."