TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

Carolyn is away. The following is adapted from winter 2006 live discussions onhttp://www.washingtonpost.com.

Carolyn:

My in-laws told my husband that they have designated in their will that his brother and sister each will inherit a house and five acres of land. They told him they are leaving him nothing because he has done so well for himself. He did not say anything because he did not want them to see how hurt he was. Do you think my husband should be penalized because he has worked so hard? His brother and sister have always borrowed money from the parents, etc.

N.C.

He shouldn't be penalized, no, but it is his parents' prerogative. Think of it this way. If he learned his industrious/responsible habits from his parents, and his siblings didn't, then he already received the greater inheritance. What can you do?

Carolyn:

I met a guy I really like. He is a little shy, and a little low on confidence. I am a Type A, some might say aggressive. My friends are warning me that I am taking too much charge of our dating (e-mailing first, asking him out for dates) and tell me that guys like "the chase." I fear he is a little too diffident for me to leave the whole thing up to him -- it will fizzle, not for lack of interest but for lack of his initiative.

My instinct is to keep being myself and not stressing about whose "turn" it is to initiate contact. But my instinct has left me single at 31. Should I ask him if he feels like I'm taking the fun out of his chase?