Week 707: What Would YOU Do?

Will trade all copies of clandestine tape recordings made in the Oval Office (2003-06) for a full presidential pardon. -- I.L. Libby, Washington (Jeff Brechlin)

Will trade black hole (small) for closet organizer system. I keep losing things. (Martin Bancroft, Rochester)

Willing to swap Boston cream pie for complete collection of Piaf records.

I really don't want to trade, but I know I can't have my cake and Edith too. (Russell Beland)

Will trade my reputation as an honest, principled man for the Republican nomination. God Bless you. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Will trade one peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for your bag of Cheetos. My agent will also be happy to discuss yesterday's geography homework, which I've already completed. (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

Looking to trade a used computer for two years of Hustler. I figure it does the same thing but saves on electricity. (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.)

Will trade 1,000-watt car stereo with super bazooka subwoofer for front and rear windshields to a 2003 Honda Civic. (Peter Metrinko, Chantilly)

Have horse, midstream Potomac River. Will swap for another. Discretion a must. -- G.W.B., Northwest Washington (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

Will swap late fetal paws for a good book of palindromes. (Jeff Brechlin)

Several hours of thought for one original idea. (Ross Elliffe, Picton New Zealand)

More Honorable Mentions from Week 702,

"Unreal Facts." We have a creeping feeling that some of these will shortly be spread around the Internet, sans the Un-.