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Harper's Bizarre But GQ Banal

"Cats scare me," she writes. "I just think of bad luck from black ones like I had in 'Just My Luck'! I need a boyfriend. Geez."

Back and forth they go until Sella asks Lohan, who is busy filming a movie, to tell him about the happiest moment of her life.

"Gotta think sex scene today," she writes back.

"Best message ever," Sella answers. "What do you think about during a sex scene?"

And he never gets another message from her again.

Oh, well. It was a nice try, anyway. And it generated just enough copy to give GQ an excuse to make it a cover story and run five pages of pictures of Lohan without too many clothes on.

A Vote for Pork

It's official: Field & Stream has announced that "Hogs Are the New Deer."

Deer are nice, but you can hunt them only during deer season. You can hunt wild hogs pretty much all the time, the magazine reports. The little porkers run wild in 31 states, including Maryland and Virginia, and they taste good, too. And get this: "The loose restrictions on hog hunting in many places has led to a number of fringe techniques, from spearing the animals to killing them with handheld knives."

But you've got to be careful. Wild hogs are nasty critters wielding sharp tusks. "Imagine a 700-pound elk compressed into the body of a 250-pound animal," says Jim "The Hogfather" Matthews, publisher of the California Hog Hunter newsletter.

Before you head out to hunt hog, Field & Stream suggests that you pick up a bottle of Harmon "Hog in Heat" to attract the beasts. "It's 100 percent urine," the magazine raves. "Careful -- a little dab'll do ya."

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