Timbaland Turn-Off

Producer Is All Self and No Sizzle on 'Shock Value'

Timbo spins gold into straw on his fifth album, on which he airs his spat with producer Scott Storch. (By Albert Watson)

Where's the beef? In the recording studio!

Hip-hop super-producer Tim "Timbaland" Mosley is doing battle with a control-room rival -- a skirmish that's suddenly spilled into plain view: The Norfolk beatmaker has loaded his horribly disappointing new album, "Timbaland Presents Shock Value," with verbal beat-downs of his adversary, Scott Storch.

Storch, you see, dared to disrespect Timbaland's studio skills.

"I'm a real producer and you just a piano man," Timbaland taunts.

Storch, himself an in-demand knob-twiddler, has fired his own salvo, "Built Like That." Can it be long before an engineer cuts a diss track about the studio receptionist? When will it all end?

If you're thinking that there's nothing more interesting than millionaire hitmakers emerging from behind the boards to antagonize each other in song, then "Shock Value" is for you. Otherwise, the only shocking thing about the album is just how uninteresting it is, given Timbaland's considerable creative talents and the CD's star-studded guest list -- an A-list lot that includes Missy Elliott, 50 Cent, Fall Out Boy and Elton John, along with Timbaland's favorite current collaborators, Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado.

Timbo (only the uncool kids call him Timb a) has been on quite the ride over the past year, with Timberlake and Furtado riding shotgun. Their music has been inescapable, with five No. 1 singles to their collective credits: "Promiscuous" and "Say It Right" for Furtado, "SexyBack," "My Love" and "What Goes Around . . . Comes Around" for Timberlake.

It's Timbaland's world, and we're just dancing in it.

But we're also cringing in it now that "Shock Value" has touched down. Timbaland's fifth album (you're forgiven if you don't remember the previous four) is a mishmash of slapped-together songs and stale ideas, with only a few sparkling gems to speak of.

As dynamic as his beats may be -- and they are, what with those syncopated, spaced-out rhythms wrapped around off-kilter melodies -- he's an incredibly dull vocalist with little to say. Worse, he hasn't found a particularly compelling way to say it.

He sings a little bit, raps a little more and even grunts some on "Shock Value." But he's faceless throughout, with no real presence. Just as some broadcasters have a face for radio, Timbaland has a creative streak that's best suited for the control room.

The album's most compelling tracks are the ones in which he either manipulates his vocals or mostly cedes the microphone to his guests. "Release," for instance, is an absolutely filthy electro-funk workout, complete with more cowbells than any track this side of the Blue Oyster Cult catalogue, and it features Timbo barking silly lines in a quavering, crazy voice that would make Bootsy Collins proud.