Send In the Clowns. Don't Bother, Sanjaya's Here.

"Night and Day" is the perfect song for Nosferatu for obvious reasons. Simon called it "utterly gloomy" and "really dark." Hello? Nosferatu a.k.a. Phil Stacey singing "Night and Day" here, people!

Melinda Doolittle wowed with "I Got Rhythm" and, with her straightened hair and low-cut dress creating the illusion of a neck, she finally looks like a woman in her 20s. Randy and Paula love her. Simon said he didn't love the first half but did the second. The audience jeered. "Oh shut UP!" he yelled back at them, then turned to Melinda and said, filled with self-pity, "I don't think we're ever going to be able to criticize you -- this is a problem."

Chris Richardson gave his best performance yet with "Don't Get Around Much Anymore" after wisely heeding Bennett's advice to memorize the lyrics, which he had not bothered to do at rehearsal. That Tony's a smart guy.

Simon called the Barbra Streisand tune "On a Clear Day," sung by Jordin Sparks, too "old fashioned." Snap!

Charlie Chaplin's tune "Smile" doesn't really work when sung by a goth girl dressed all in black with a pierced tongue. This we learned watching Gina Glocksen.

Haley Scarnato tried "Ain't Misbehavin' " as a hoochie-coochie song. Bennett explained that the woman is saying she is in love with only one person and if she sings "saving my love for you, and you and you and you!" "it doesn't make sense." Haley lost the multiple "yous" but stuck with the burlesque moves and shoe cleavage.

And LaKisha Jones got back in the game with "Stormy Weather," only the show by then was running so late -- thank you My Coke Rewards Program Stupid Viewer Questions -- no one got to say much more than "great job."

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Competition here, competition there: Competition shows accounted for half the Top 10 heap last week. And that popping noise you hear is the sound of struggling prime-time series being put out of their misery.

Here's a look at the week's survivors and roadkill:

WINNERS

20th Annual Kids' Choice Awards. The most watched cable program of the week clocked 6.1 million viewers on Nickelodeon -- up from last year's 5.9 mil. This year's secret weapon: first-time host Justin Timberlake, who has come so far since searing the eyeballs of millions of children when he tore the bodice off Janet Jackson's costume at the Super Bowl and revealed her right breast -- after which he shouted to reporters, "This wasn't what we rehearsed!" and called it a "wardrobe malfunction." In an homage to that fateful halftime show, Timberlake used that very same line at the KCAs on Saturday when he got slimed at the end of his opening number, "You'll Never Get a Drop of Slime on Old JT."