Family, Friends and Finances

Trying to figure out how to balance your money with family and friends can be tricky territory.

During a live Web chat, Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax was asked to comment on the following estate issue: "My in-laws told my husband that they have designated in their will that his brother and sister each will inherit a house and five acres of land. They told him they are leaving him nothing because he has done so well for himself."

So, what do you think? Is it fair to cut out the adult child who has done all the right things financially? Write to colorofmoney@washpost.com and tell me how you might answer this question. In the subject line write "No Way in the Will."

And what about this financial conundrum columnist Amy Dickson was asked to address in her column Ask Amy (Mar. 30): "We invited a 12-year-old friend of our son's along with us to a movie outing to celebrate our son's birthday. When the waiter came, our guest ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and topped it off with the most expensive appetizer. It seemed as though this kid was trying to take advantage of the situation. I told my son he needs to make some new friends this year."

How would you have handled the 12-year-old moocher? What do you do when you invite children or adults to dine with you? Write to colorofmoney@washpost.com and in the subject line write "Kid Moocher."

Here's an it's-on-me hint: When I invite particular relatives (the triflin' ones), I don't tell them I'm paying for the meal until the check comes. Sure enough, when they think they're paying for the meal they're more frugal with their choices.

I've got another money dilemma for you. Should you tell your friends about a windfall? One Ask Amy reader regretted divulging the information. She wrote: "On numerous occasions, two of my friends have asked me to buy some of their old clothes or appliances. I have declined, but one friend was so pushy about this and other things that we are no longer friends. My other friend with this mind-set also makes frequent 'joke' about how I owe her money when I don't. Must I keep my personal style of living a secret so as not to attract hangers-on?"

Send your thoughts to me, and write "Mooching Friends" in the subject line of the e-mail.

Finally in the category of "You've Got Some Gall Girl," one perplexed mother wondered about her financial obligation to a daughter who wants to get married. The mother wrote: "Our daughter is putting the guilt trip on us. She is 30 years old, has been living with her boyfriend for six years and has two children with him. She has decided that she is ready for marriage. She has not lived at home for 10 years, and she owes us a substantial amount of money that we lent her to buy a house a year ago. She has not paid us anything back so far. She is 'assuming' (her words) that we will pay for a wedding, as we did for her sister 12 years ago. I don't believe that we are obligated to treat this situation the same as her sister's wedding, but she sees it differently, and it has caused some hard feelings."

Tell me how you would you deal with this situation? Make sure to write "Bridezilla" in the subject line of your e-mail. If it were me, I'd give the ingrate daughter shacking up with her boyfriend the telephone number for the justice of the peace. Why should I stick to tradition when clearly she hasn't?

Tax Time

Are you still working on your tax return? If you are, you have two extra days. Your tax returns aren't due until April 17. In today's column, I discuss the rules and guidelines around deducting expenses for a home business. Before you claim deductions for use of your home in the course of your business, you need to know the rules.

For answers to this year's frequently asked tax questions, see washingtonpost.com's Tax Time Resources and join a live discussion with tax experts today at Noon ET.

A Crash Course in Finances

Universities without good personal finance curricula can learn from a series of workshops being offered at Georgetown University in the District of Columbia.

As Washington Post writer Susan Kinzie reports in "Money's On the Line During These Classes" (Mar. 30), the school has introduced a lecture series about such personal finance issues, such as loan repayment and consolidation, credit cards, and taxes.

Other universities are joining Georgetown. Beginning this academic year in Virginia, for example, public universities are required to offer some financial literacy training to its students.

If you're worried about your college student's knowledge of personal finance, direct them to the series I've been writing about four people - two single women and one couple - who decided at the beginning of the year they wanted to get their financial life together. These brave souls have been participating in the Color of Money Challenge, sharing their spending, debt and saving issues.

In Sunday's column I chronicled the challengers' struggles to create and follow a budget. (You can take the challenge, too! Just download this budget form , fill it out, and let me know how you're managing to budget. I'll post the most interesting stories online.)

Did You Overpay?

The U.S. Department of Education overcharged more than 3 million student loan borrowers reports Amit R. Paley in "Lawsuit Says Education Dept. Overcharged on Student Loans" (Mar. 20).

It seems a complex billing problem affected people with consolidated loans that totaled more than $72 billion. The suit says the department imposed late fees on borrowers even though their payments were made on time."

You are welcome to e-mail comments and questions singletarym@washpost.com. Please include your name and hometown; your comments may be used in a future column or newsletter unless otherwise requested.