Zip. Zilch. Zero.

Our Handy Guide to All Things Free

If you're feeling a little put out about that whopper of a check you're about to stroke for Uncle Sam, you're certainly not alone. Tax time can make anyone wish for a way to put a little more "free" in the Land of the Free. Sadly, we can't promise you deliverance from the tax man, but we can offer up a host of ways to help you keep more of your money for yourself.

Free spirits that we are, we've compiled a guide of fabulous finds, from Shakespeare to sandwiches to baby wipes, all gratis. Some require a little work, others require acquiescing to direct mail and still others demand nothing more than showing up and helping yourself.

"You have to put in suspension the cynicism that if it says 'free,' there's probably a gimmick," says Bob Kalian, co-author of "The Best Free Things in America" (Roblin Press, 2003). Though strings may be attached, "there are some wonderful things out there that are totally free for the asking," he says.

We couldn't agree more.

We don't know if the best things in life are free, but we do know we love getting something for nothing. So here's our roundup of events, meals, performances and more that won't cost you a penny.

And thanks to the Internet -- and lots of people with a little too much time on their hands -- there is no shortage of online tips for such a search: Try TheFreeSite.com, a jumping-off point for freebies everywhere, and About.com's freebie forum ( http://freebies.about.com/). Hard-core bargain hunters advise setting up an e-mail account -- a free one, of course -- just for this purpose. (Before you sign up for anything, check the fine print to make sure you know what you're agreeing to.)

Now, help yourself!

-- Christina Breda Antoniades

Saving on Your Social Life

Belly up to the (open) bar. The good news is that you don't have to be drop-dead gorgeous to get free drinks. You just have to be in the right place at the right time -- and appropriately attired, of course.

Event promoter Mad Power Unit organizes open-bar nights at Kstreet Lounge (1301 K St. NW, 202-962-3933), where the Wednesday night Flirt happy hour dance party draws an urban professional crowd to its free premium drinks and buffet. The promoter's other open bars are at Play Lounge (1219 Connecticut Ave. NW, 202-466-7529) on Thursday nights and Avenue (649 New York Ave. NW, 202-347-8100) on Fridays. Just be sure to download a free pass from http://www.madpowerunit.com/, or you'll get socked with a hefty cover charge.

Get details on more open-bar options from washingtonpost.com's Going Out Gurus.

Shop and sip. Head to the U Street corridor for Third Thursday Shopper Socials, when as many as 25 merchants stay open later and offer a mix of deals and refreshments. The next one is this Thursday from 5 to 8 p.m. "Every shop has its own thing; there's no set menu or sale," says Sarah Spies, manager of women's boutique Nana (1528 U St. NW, 202-667-6955). During a recent Shopper Social there, customers grazed on ginger snaps and sipped sparkling cider while browsing the racks.