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TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

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Annapolis

"Stop putting me in the middle."

1. It's what you want to say.

2. It's your duty to say it, lest you be complicit in trashing a friend.

3. Bonus! It's also a handy friendship sieve. Here's how it works:

If both friends respect your position, you'll keep them both;

If Friend A punishes you for showing respect that Friend B deserves, then A is a small person indeed, best left to slip through the holes;

If one friend's behavior in the falling-out has been so plainly wrong that you're wrong not to have backed the other friend, then you're the one down the drain.

You're in a sad and awkward position -- but a useful one. Few occasions so plainly expose the true (and not-so-true) friends.

Write to Tell Me About It, Style, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, ortellme@washpost.com.

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