For 'The View,' The Bloom Is Off the Rosie

Back in December '06, trade publication TV Week noted that Jim Paratore, who was president of Telepictures when that division produced Rosie's show, now heads Warner Bros.-based ParaMedia. That company is producing the upcoming newsmag "TMZ," based on the Time Warner Web site of the same name -- the Web site that, incidentally, broke the story that Rosie was leaving "The View."

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"American Idol" raised at least $30 million last night and no one went home. Yes, "Idol Gives Back" had absolutely nothing to do with the singing competition and a lot to do with the cluelessness of Hollywood celebrities, but mostly it was trying to overlook both and focus on the money being raised for needy children in Africa and here in the United States.

At the top of the show, host Ryan Seacrest was standing next to the six remaining Idolettes, all lined up, all wearing white pantsuits, like a Mr. Clean perp walk. Seacrest promised "the most shocking voting result in the show's history." He lied. Apparently the producers were worried you wouldn't stay tuned just to see Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts, Josh Groban, Earth, Wind & Fire, Annie Lennox, Il Divo, Celine Dion and Elvis Presley perform.

Yes, Elvis. Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, he came back from the dead to sing a duet with Dion. Only he wasn't on a big screen, like when Natalie Cole sang that duet with her dear departed dad. Presley appeared to be right on stage with Dion and the Idolettes, singing his hit "If I Can Dream." It was a brilliant performance by Dion.

Some of the other, actually alive singers were also not actually at the Idol studio with Seacrest and gang. They performed instead from the Walt Disney Concert Hall in downtown L.A.; those bits were hosted by Ellen DeGeneres.

After Tuesday's performance show, Seacrest said, more than 70 million votes were cast, which is a record. Fox parent company News Corp. is kicking in 10 cents per vote. But only for the first 50 million, which means $5 million. Your other 20 million votes didn't raise any money, because that would have cost News Corp. -- a company with a $3 billion cash flow last year and yes that's billion with a B -- another $2 million.

Did I mention that every three seconds, a child dies in extreme poverty? I learned that on "Idol Gives Back" last night.

For the next hour and 50-some minutes, we were treated/subjected to a hideous mix of excruciating video of mothers dying of AIDS and babies dying of malaria, interspersed with things like a video in which 35 celebrities sing and dance to -- and you have no idea how much I wish I was kidding -- the Bee Gees tune "Stayin' Alive."

On the bright side, you can download the video on iTunes and the money will go toward the fundraiser. Nope, I'm sorry, that doesn't make it any better. David Schwimmer, Hugh Laurie, Lisa Kudrow, Helen Mirren, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Hugh Grant, Teri Hatcher, Keira Knightley, Kirstie Alley, Miss Piggy -- shame on you.