The President's Thanks, and Other Forms of Kissing Up

By Lisa de Moraes
Wednesday, May 2, 2007

President Bush and first lady Laura Bush appeared as Giant Talking Heads on "American Idol" last night to thank the American people for helping raise more than $70 million last week to donate to, among others, children who have suffered in New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina hit and the Judges and Stewards Commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association whom Bush had put in charge of FEMA thoroughly botched the relief efforts.

POTUS: We thank all the "American Idol" viewers who have shown the good heart of America. We thank all the celebrities who participated, including Bono, and all the contestants who sang their hearts out for these children. Say, Laura, you think I ought to sing something?

FL: I don't know, darling -- they've already seen you dance.

This proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the president of the United States:

a) has nerves of steel and thinks an "Idol" appearance might boost his approval ratings.

b) is completely clueless and thinks an "Idol" appearance might boost his approval ratings.

c) sang the final song on last year's "American Idol" season finale.

Get the right answer and you could win tickets to sit in on the Ford Music Video taping next week, plus you would become eligible to attend the "Idol" finale later this month at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood. Or not.

It was Bon Jovi night, by the way. And yet, though Bon Jovi songs pretty much stink unless sung with big hair, loads of pyrotechnics and enormous guitars hanging at one's groin -- none of which was in evidence on "Idol" -- it was an oddly interesting night.

Jordin Sparks, for instance, died doing metal rock, while Melinda Doolittle was great, even though Jordin is 17 years old and Melinda is 50.

Plus, Blake Lewis dyed his hair dark brown for the occasion and freaked out Jon Bon Jovi with his decision to beat box the Bon Jovi standard "You Give Love a Bad Name." Bon Jovi kept talking about "rolling the dice" during the canned bits before the performance and said, like he didn't think it could be done, that Blake would have to "sell his interpretation to a lot of people . . . who don't want it messed with."

And, how about Simon kissing LaKisha Jones after her comeback performance of "This Ain't a Love Song"?

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