Am I Really A Workaholic?

You put in long hours on the job, sometimes sacrificing your personal life to meet career commitments. You stay connected with the office when you're not physically there, checking your BlackBerry or tapping out e-mails on your laptop. You think about work when you're in bed or in the shower. Does that make you a workaholic -- or just a hard worker?

If you're taking the time to read this instead of, say, perfecting some PowerPoint presentation, chances are you're not a true workaholic. If, on the other hand, you missed the article when it appeared in the paper but friends have e-mailed it to you or left it (anonymously) on your desk, you may want to take a couple minutes to figure out why they did.

The growing number of psychologists, life coaches and self-styled experts who deal with workaholism say that though the problem can be tenacious, it is one that you can, well, work on: Sometimes it's a simple matter of setting new priorities or finding things besides work to fill your time; but workaholism may be a symptom of more serious illness that can be addressed through psychotherapy and behavior modification techniques. The toughest part, those experts say, is recognizing there's a problem in the first place.

Here are some tips to help you figure out whether you're a workaholic.

1. Take a test. Check the Workaholics Anonymous Web site ( http://www.workaholics-anonymous.org) for a list of 20 questions to help pin down your status. Key questions include "Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?" "Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?" and "Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?" Three or more "yes" answers suggest you may have some work to do, according to this grass-roots group of self-proclaimed workaholics who volunteer time to help others cope with the malady.

2. Determine whether your overattention to work is temporary or rooted in who you are. At the Rockville headquarters of the Center for Work and the Family, which offers counseling and coaching, co-director Chris Essex says, "Sometimes work cycles require extra work. Don't confuse that with an internal drive" to work long hours. "I'd be asking myself, 'Is this my going off-track periodically or a pattern over a long period of time?' " Essex suggests. And does your work, like that of a doctor, require you to be often on call, or are you imposing that round-the-clock availability on yourself?

3. Assess your relationships with family . . . Helen Friedman, a clinical psychologist in St. Louis who deals with work-related issues and compulsive behaviors, offers these reality checks: Do you routinely get home after the kids are in bed? Miss important family events? Do you get impatient with family members because you have so much work to do? Essex notes that some workaholics "choose to stay at work because family is harder work. They have skills and training that allow them to be successful at work, but they don't have the skills and training that allow them to be successful at home."

. . . friends . . . Essex says one common characteristic of workaholics is that their social relationships are mostly with co-workers. "It's disguised as social and recreational," she says, "but it's not." Friedman adds that workaholics often "have no friends because they have no time for them." And if you do manage to maintain friendships, do your friends complain because you're not making time to spend with them?

. . . and yourself. Are you a perfectionist who thinks you're the only one who can get the job done right? Do you allow yourself time for a personal life, hobbies or plain old downtime?

Okay, so it turns out maybe you are a bit of a workaholic after all. There are measures you can take to restore balance to your life -- if you're willing to step away from the desk.

1. Slow down. Take a lesson from the folks at Workaholics Anonymous: Call the number on their Web site and you'll most likely get a message saying they pick up their voice mails only about once a week. And when they do, they pledge to respond -- by surface mail. The group's media contact allows him/herself 72 hours to respond to an e-mail!

2. Set boundaries. This requires practice, Essex cautions. "Start small. Could you shut off your BlackBerry for half an hour while you eat dinner?" Friedman offers other ideas: "Limit your number of hours at the office," she suggests. Pledge to take or make no work-related calls on weekends or after 9 p.m. Don't bring work home.

3 . Find a hobby."The workaholic doesn't have a hobby," Essex notes. "Some who slow down may not know what to do with themselves," she notes. To ease the transition, she advises, "connect with others. Look into yourself" to learn what you want to do with your newfound time.

4. Get professional help."Workaholism is a symptom," Essex says, that sometimes stems from depression, stress and anxiety, compulsive personality, perfectionism, self-esteem and insecurity issues, marital problems and other things that throw you out of whack. If that's the case, a therapist can help you develop strategies for managing your problem. But be aware, Friedman says, that "sometimes another behavior" -- equally negative or destructive -- "will emerge" when you address your workaholism. Start with your workplace's employee assistance program, Essex suggests.

5. Consider a new line of work."Some might have to make a career change," Friedman says, to break the cycle. ·

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