Bragging Right

How to Promote Yourself Without Ruffling Too Many Feathers

Why, hello there! Surely you know me -- or you've heard of me, at least? You haven't? Huh. Perhaps you've seen my blog, where I write about my thoughts (brilliant, obviously) and my manifold accomplishments. Hey, aren't we friends on Facebook? Sweet. Then you saw that I updated my profile to include a quote from my boss, who said I'm "smart, funny and ambitious." And didn't I elbow past you at Bourbon last week? Yeah, I know, it was crowded. But I'm great at pushing my way up front to get the bartender's attention. I make things happen for myself, I do.

I'm really good at a lot of things, actually. Including, of course, self-promotion. So, let's talk.

There is a reason the word "shameless" is so often paired with "self-promotion": We are taught that bragging is bad, and self-promotion is regarded as, well, bragging.

Or is it?

Modesty is endearing, sure, but is it always the best approach? Perhaps some peacockery is needed to get what we want. That's certainly the case on the campaign trail and in the boardroom, where success hinges on our ability to splay our feathers, but also in the dating world, where a little strut may be just the charm.

But what's the secret to pulling it off? Is it a matter of subtlety or simply confidence? And if we can make the case that self-promotion is necessary, then why are so many of us uncomfortable with tooting our own horn?

"There's nothing wrong with self-promoting," says Sam Solovey, a D.C. resident who was on Season 1 of NBC's "The Apprentice," vying for the tutelage of Donald Trump (himself an unabashed self-promoter). "If you don't do it, no one else is going to do it for you."

Indeed.

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"Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it."

-- Oliver Herford

If we're taught at an early age to be humble, perhaps it's because talent and success seem self-evident. Johnny is the starting center midfielder on the soccer team? He's a great player. Kate gets straight A's? Yeah, she's quite the student. Jane was the lead in the school play? We know; we saw.