The Princess Inquiries
Sunday, May 13, 2007
LOS ANGELES -- We're here with the four princesses. These would be the mouthy princesses. The funny ones. Rapunzel, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty. Played by the comedic actresses Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Cheri Oteri (all "Saturday Light Live" veterans) and Amy Sedaris, who lent their voices to "Shrek the Third," the animated film sequel about a swamp ogre and a talking donkey which opens Friday and is expected to earn DreamWorks one billion dollars in worldwide box office ticket sales this summer. The princesses have all had their morning coffee. They're bouncing on the couch.
This "Shrek the Third" opens with two ogres, Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz, in bed. Shrek isn't wearing his PJs. The donkey? He (Eddie Murphy) marries a dragon. Their children are little fire-breathing jackasses. The cat? Puss in Boots? He's a player, and he's played by Antonio Banderas.
"Ton Ton," Rudolph purrs, using her pet name for Banderas. "Ton Ton Bambooty."
This is family entertainment, all right, because all the cartoon characters are having families. We suggest that the Shrek franchise has gone seriously PG-13.
"You're such a guy," Poehler says, looking at your correspondent.
"You'll always find what you're looking for," Sedaris says.
"And Bill found porn," Rudolph says.
"Animated porn," Oteri chirps. "The best kind."
This goes on for a while.
Okay, so what is the movie, which is, of course, totally harmless and rated G, about?
"About 90 minutes," Rudolph says.
"It's sweet because it's about Shrek, how in the first movie he learns how to love, and in the second movie he learns how to be married and now learns how to have little nerds," Poehler says.