In Rural China, a Bitter Way Out

Swallowing pesticides is a frequent method of suicide in rural China because the chemicals are so readily accessible. Studies show 58 percent of all Chinese who commit suicide use pesticides.

"Attempted suicides outnumber completed suicides by 10 to 1. If you have a proportion who use very lethal means, the number of completed suicides is going to go up," said Michael R. Phillips, executive director of the Beijing suicide prevention group.

In recent years, authorities in Beijing have identified suicide as an important issue and set aside funds to study it, but they have yet to formulate a national plan or policy on the subject. Absent government action, a few pesticide companies have tried to make access to their products more difficult by providing farmers with small boxes and padlocks. Meanwhile, nonprofit groups are making progress in small villages such as Sanshiliugunzi and nearby Donghao, three hours northwest of Beijing.

Xu's group, the Cultural Development Center for Rural Women, has identified troubled residents in the villages and brought them to Beijing, along with community leaders, to teach them how to become more active -- taking up traditional fan dancing, for example, instead of mah-jongg. The hope is that the training will give the women a sense of purpose and stave off suicidal tendencies.

"Several years ago, there were people committing suicide every year in this area. Now there are fewer cases, because we have more entertainment. People seem happier," said Sun Jiangbao, who lives in Sanshiliugunzi. Sun's wife, Zhao Haixia, committed suicide 10 years ago during the Spring Festival, the biggest holiday of the year and one that often brings out family conflicts.

The argument between Sun and his wife had been typical. He had contracted hepatitis, he said, and Zhao wanted him to rest rather than return to his job as a porter at a Beijing railway station.

"She didn't want me to go out and work so hard but to stay home and rest," said Sun, who earned in Beijing nearly 70 times what his entire family made farming their land. "I told her that I needed to sign the contract for next year but that I would come right back after signing it, but she didn't believe me."

His wife drank bittern, a bitter liquid that many farmers keep on hand to solidify soy milk for tofu. "When I found her, she was lying on this bed, with a bowl by her side," Sun recalled. "The bottom of it was black. She saw me, and said, 'From now on, you take care of our son.' "

In Donghao, a woman who asked to be identified only by her surname, Wang, said she had attempted suicide three times, adding that her husband had abused her repeatedly.

"It was always a small issue," said Wang, 45. "I can't remember how many times he beat me. Every day I was angry and unhappy. I felt life was meaningless. . . . You can see the scars on my hands, where he beat me with a stick."

In the West, doctors would probably treat Wang for depression and encourage her to get out of an abusive relationship. But in China, doctors and suicide prevention activists play down mental illness and focus on improving conditions in the home.

Li Guiming, 49, a local community leader who came to help Wang and later sent her and others to Beijing for training, suggested that traditional gender roles in the countryside are powerful.

"Women are inferior from the time they're born," Li said. "When you give birth to a girl, people say you have a poyatou, a worthless servant girl. When it's a boy, they say you have a dapangxiaozi, a big fat boy."

Wang said she no longer responds when her husband curses her, so they argue less. She helps him sell belts, socks and hats in the market four times a week, so they are earning more money. And he has mellowed with age and no longer beats her, Wang said.

Today, seven months after arguing with her husband over the TV and then attempting suicide, Zhao insists she didn't know the pesticide was lethal. On the other hand, she says she was prepared to die and wasn't trying to call her husband's bluff.

Although suicide prevention activists have been helpful in teaching villagers to talk more about their problems, Zhao said, such talk goes against cultural norms. "I have friends in this village, but I won't share my unhappiness with them. You don't expose your dirty laundry to your neighbors," she said. "People look down on those who commit suicide. They're considered losers."

As for the future, she said, suicide was out of the question: "I will never do it again. We wasted so much money. My eldest son is 10 years old. I've got to save money to build a house for him."

Researcher Jin Ling contributed to this report.