Government Workers Yuk It Up in Contest
By Rachel Beckman
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, May 17, 2007
"Government worker" is not
a phrase normally found in the same sentence with "laugh riot." But last week at an Arlington theater, federal employees performed stand-up comedy in a competition for the title of "DC's Funniest Fed."
The results were a mixed bag, especially for the few private-sector employees in the audience. For example, this punch line got big laughs: "What do you expect? I'm a GS-12, but I'm a GS-12 at the Census Bureau. In Census years that's nothing!"
Hint: It's a joke about pay scale.
In fact, that punch line -- and a bunch of others that didn't require a GS-whatever to understand -- earned comic and Census Bureau employee Shahryar Rizvi a spot in the finals. About 80 people, many wearing suits, attended the contest's first round last Wednesday at Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse.
The competition continues next Wednesday and culminates June 22 with the crowning of the funniest federal employee.
Rizvi, 26, is one of only a few participants who had ever performed stand-up, according to the show's organizer, local comic Naomi Johnson.
Rob Raffety, who works at the Consumer Product Safety Commission, had no comedy experience before his appearance. "Just being married," he joked.
His set opened the show. He started off strong with a bit about the irony of running a 10K race to benefit arthritis. "What's next? A Gummi Bear binge for diabetes? Philly cheesesteaks for obesity?"
The set went downhill from there, he later admitted. Transitions were either clunky or nonexistent and he shuffled from foot to foot. A riff on Chinese politics left the audience silent.
Johnson came up with the idea for the competition while working at the Health and Human Services Department in 1999. At the time, she was out of the comedy scene because of a bad gig where a group of drunks heckled her. The trauma of the experience kept her off the stage for almost a decade.
But last year, she quit her job with a consulting firm to travel and perform stand-up. She also hosted a monthly variety show called "Comedy Night Live" at Alexandria's Old Town Theater.
"I just decided I was getting older, and this was something I've wanted to do since I was little," she said. "I couldn't get it out of my system."
She remembers impersonating Richard Nixon and Scooby-Doo when she was 6, then putting on comedy shows for her parents. Her father raised her on Abbott and Costello, Bill Cosby and Bob Newhart.
Though Johnson required auditions, she accepted everyone because the right number of people applied (32 are competing). Johnson said one comic didn't say anything funny in the audition.
"I tried to tell her that storytelling is a really hard thing to do," Johnson said. "If you have to end with 'You had to be there,' it's not going to work.' "
Two comics advance to the finals each week -- one selected by the audience and one by a panel of judges. The contest is sponsored by Federal News Radio (WFED, 1050 AM) and Kaiser Permanente; 30 percent of ticket proceeds go to Meals on Wheels Association of America.
Johnson prefers "PG-13" comedy, she said, so she decided acts must be in good taste and not "degrade the U.S. agency of employment or public service in general."
"That's like having a stripper contest where nobody gets naked!" comic Daren Sweeney said onstage.
Johnson made the rule to stay on the good side of the Office of Government Ethics, she said. Also, she didn't want to promote the stereotype of slacker government employees, though she admitted that she has relied on that image to get attention for the contest. Laziness jokes slipped in anyway.
Emcee Jon Mumma, a Government Printing Office employee, laid out the government worker's manifesto: "Surf the Web until noon like everyone else. Play some Minesweeper. You're a federal employee! Let's keep it real."
DC's Funniest Fed returns May 23 at 7:30 p.m. at Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse, 2903 Columbia Pike, Arlington. $10. 703-486-2345.
View all comments that have been posted about this article.