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By Colbert I. King
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Last week's pre-Mother's Day column about an unmarried D.C. mom who is on welfare and has six children by four men provoked strong condemnation of the mother and criticism of this writer for printing her story without passing judgment on her behavior. As is so often the case, the reactions tell us as much about ourselves as they do about the mother.
The purpose of the column was not to judge or draw sympathy to the 38-year-old woman, who was identified only as C.C., but rather to use Mother's Day to focus attention on unmarried, welfare-dependent mothers of children with absent fathers and the impact of that widespread condition on our social fabric.
That point was lost on most readers. They set their sights on C.C. -- and simply hated what they saw.
Government "has done too much for her over the years by making her believe that she has a right to be so inconsiderate that she can bring children into the world without the means or training to support them." -- F.M.
"What in the world was she thinking???? Why are my tax dollars, via welfare and food stamps, paying for this lifestyle?" -- A.C.
"Why did she have more children than she could support? Are we supposed to join her in the bedroom and put condoms on her partners?" -- L.D.
"I have nothing but contempt for C.C. [She] is guilty of child neglect, because she has far more children than she can afford. [She] is also guilty of being a parasite on society. C.C. should be sterilized. And that goes for all the C.C.'s out there, as well as the men/boys who knock them up." -- M.G.
"Is your stupid piece supposed to tug at my heartstrings and make me . . . want to give up more of my money in the form of higher taxes to some welfare queen who never stopped to think about the consequences of having 6 kids from 4 different fathers? . . . The kids should be taken from her and raised by the state and she should get fixed and get a job." -- R.G.
"The social fabric in D.C. unraveled a long time ago." -- T.M.
Vitriolic reader comments have been rolling in all week. But they are not the last word.
Others have responded with deeds.
On Mother's Day a team of African American professionals (who are supporters of a well-known city leader) showed up at C.C.'s home and offered to help her find housing. She was also given a job, which began this week, and child care so she can go to work. Her oldest daughter has been given much-needed eyeglasses. Arrangements are being made to provide dental care, tutoring and mentoring for the children.
One reader offered to anonymously send the family a Safeway debit card. A nonprofit program that provides support for teenage girls weighed in with information and advice. So did the Capital Area Food Bank.
On the evening before his assassination in April 1968, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. took to a pulpit in Memphis to deliver what became his final sermon. He asked the congregation to develop "a kind of dangerous unselfishness" in the face of need.
King told the parable of the good Samaritan. It was about a man lying on the side of the road, having been preyed upon and beaten by thieves. Two men, walking down the road, saw the fallen man, but each passed by on the other side.
King reflected on why the two men didn't stop. Were they too busy? Was there some rule or custom that prevented them from touching a human body?
"It's possible," King speculated, "that the priest and the Levite looked over that man on the ground and wondered if the robbers were still around."
"Or it's possible," King continued, "that they felt the man on the ground was merely faking, and he was acting like he had been robbed and hurt, in order to . . . lure them there for quick and easy seizure."
King might also have included the possibility that the two men passed by on the other side of the road because they believed the man might have done something to bring trouble upon himself.
King said he imagined the first question the two men asked was, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
"But then the good Samaritan came by," King said, "and he reversed the question: 'If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?' "
That was the unstated question before people on Mother's Day. Some, like the angry readers, saw only C.C.'s deep flaws. Others, however, saw her humanity. And, like the good Samaritan exhibiting a dangerous unselfishness in the face of need, they stopped to give C.C. a hand.
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