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Who the [Bleep] Do You Think Said It?

By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts
Sunday, May 20, 2007

To say that Rahm Emanuel swears is like saying Placido Domingo sings -- technically correct, but utterly fails to capture the passion, the sweep, the artistry of his cursing. The Illinois congressman, a rising Democratic power, is profiled in the new book "The Thumpin': How Rahm Emanuel and the Democrats Learned to Be Ruthless and Ended the Republican Revolution," by Naftali Bendavid. In this telling, Emanuel reminds us of a character out of "The Sopranos," a David Mamet play or a Martin Scorsese movie. Can you correctly distinguish his rants from those of his fictional brothers?

1."If you don't see what you like, I highly recommend you pick up the [bleeping] phone and do it yourself .. .. . I AM [bleeping] RELAXED, but I'm telling you I'm trying to get it done."

2. "You know your business, I know mine. Your business is being an [bleep]. I find out whose [bleeping] cousin you are, I'm going to go to him and figure out a way to have your [bleep]. [Bleep] you!"

3."You wanna talk rules? You wanna talk all that old-school [bleep]? Then remember this rule: I am the [bleeping-bleeping] one who calls the shots."

4."I'll tell you this: It is so [bleeping] stressful. If anybody does anything on either side, it's your problem."

5."Look, I'm having panic attacks, all right? The other night I thought I was having a [bleeping] heart attack. I puked in a trash barrel on the way over here. I haven't slept for [bleeping] weeks."

6."I don't want to cross the [bleeper]. I think he would take out a knife and kill you. I think he would kill you."

7. "What the [bleep] are you doing? You?re hanging around my [bleeping] neck like a vulture, like impending death."

8."We gave you the keys to the car, you [bleeping] crashed it. All right, we'll take the keys away for a while until you learn your lesson. You get a five-minute timeout."

9."Are you [bleeping] with me? Or are you done [bleeping] with me? Because I've just financialized the problem, and you?ve just become more trouble than you're worth."

10."I'm an equal opportunity [bleep] to everybody. Because they've never, ever WORKED! NOBODY! NONE OF 'EM!"

11."Think. The big [bleeping] picture."

12."In my house, when you say, '[bleep] you,' it's a sign of endearment."

ANSWERS:

1. Emanuel 2. Mamet's "Glengarry Glen Ross" 3. Tony Soprano 4. Emanuel 5. Scorsese's "The Departed" 6. Emanuel 7. Scorsese's "Goodfellas" 8. Emanuel 9. Mamet's "Heist" 10. Emanuel 11. Tony Soprano 12. Emanuel

Sorry, You're Not on the List

Two in an occasional series of dispatches from parties you should have crashed.

Festivities: Backstage VIP room at the Congressional Blues Festival, a four-hour concert at the Commerce Department's Mellon Auditorium, hosted by Dixie congressmen Wednesday night.

Cause: Fundraiser for Music Maker, a relief organization for impoverished Southern musicians.

Food: Lavish buffet of massive sandwiches, crab cakes just off the grill, stupendous raw bar.

Bar: Open! But unbearably long lines.

Crowd: Folks wearing lanyards. Staffers or roadies?

Reason to leave the VIP room: To hear soaring riffs by guitar prodigy Derek Trucks; to see the psychedelic light show covering the Mellon's gilded classical interior; to watch Hill staffers in wrap dresses or Dockers doing that Deadhead twirl dance.

Our new hero: The guy in front of the stage spiking his drink with a flask camouflaged as a cellphone. "I wouldn't try it in airports," he tells us, "but it's good for concerts."

Event: "ZooFari 2007: Savanna Soiree," the Thursday night fundraiser for the Friends of the National Zoo.

Draw: Strolling through the closed zoo grounds for unlimited free samples from more than 135 top restaurants: -- soft-shell crab corn dog, giant strawberry shortcake, grilled shrimp, gourmet mashed potatoes, all scarfed down within our first 10 minutes.

Best Deal: The giant stuffed reindeer we won after tossing all our spare cash into the raffle.

Teaching moment: Zookeeper Q&A on "Monitoring Giant Panda Hormones."

Close Encounter: Almost kissed by cute snake. Keeper intervened.

Finale: Dancing to the Tokens' "The Lion Sleeps Tonight."

Love, Etc.

Born: Nearly 12 pounds' worth of babies to MSNBC chief Washington correspondent Norah O'Donnell and restaurateur husband Geoff Tracy. The couple welcomed twins, their first children, yesterday morning at Sibley Memorial Hospital -- Grace O'Donnell Tracy, 6 pounds 8 ounces, and Henry O'Donnell Tracy, 5 pounds 2 ounces. Both are "beautiful, healthy" and 18 3/4 inches long, according to Mom.

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