Runaway Bridezilla

The day before they were scheduled to leave, when I was already climbing the wall from being displaced and also constant entertaining and sightseeing, they asked to stay way into that last day, as they had a late flight. I made up a lie that we had to be somewhere late that morning to get them out of the house and gave them some alternatives where they could spend the day.

I think I got caught in my lie. In the future, how should I handle a situation where I commit to a stay (three nights is long enough in our situation) and then the guests want to extend and then extend again?

But why lie, when you have such a good excuse? Why didn't you reply to the first request, "I'm so sorry -- that's my office, and I need to get back to work?"

Miss Manners does not profess the sort of crude and callous morality that considers it a sin to say "I had a lovely time" if she didn't. But false excuses are foolhardy, as you have discovered. And even if you hadn't had a good excuse, none would have been necessary. All you need to have said was, "Oh, I'm so sorry. It was lovely having you here, but alas, three days was all I could schedule with you."

Dear Miss Manners:

The day before my birthday, I received flowers delivered to my office, with a card that read "Happy Birthday! Have a great day! John."

I have two gentleman friends named John, so I called the florist to inquire if "John" had provided a last name. The florist was unable to provide any additional information.

Since neither gentlemen has inquired if I received flowers, I am still unsure whom to thank!

Thank them both. You may not find out which one sent the flowers, but you will have two bouquets on your next birthday.

Feeling incorrect? E-mail your etiquette questions to Miss Manners (who is distraught that she cannot reply personally) atMissManners@unitedmedia.comor mail to United Media, 200 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10016.

2007Judith Martin