Come Together

Lawyers. Teachers. Doctors. People who have just moved here. People who grew up here but need new outlets. People who have been so entrenched in their careers that they have forgotten what it's like to have fun.

People like Latonya Nichols, who just want to do something different.

"I like nontraditional things, things that are cultural," says Nichols, a Fort Washington event planner. "I'm tired of just going out to the restaurants, movies, bowling. I'm tired of all that."

It's her birthday -- she's 31 -- so today she'll do what she wants, and she makes her friend and sister come along. But don't get her wrong: If they weren't game, she would come alone. She has before.

"A lot of my friends are not into cultural things. I have the mind-set now that I can't wait around for someone to go with; I'd be preventing myself from enjoying things I want to enjoy," she says.

People, Nichols says, are almost always friendly when she's friendly first. She doesn't really need new friends, but it'd be nice to find a few who share her interests, "who are into the same things I am so I can say, 'Hey, do you want to go do this?' "

And men? Well, sure, that might be nice. Nichols is single, as are about 65 percent of the people who come to Things to Do events, according to its executives. And there was one guy there her sister kept promoting all night. Nichols knows you never know.

Two hours and probably a couple of glasses of sangria in, the embassy crowd loosens. They've ditched their plates and begun to mingle. They sing "Happy Birthday" to Nichols, who beams.

* * *

The reasons people hike are interesting, Mano Malayanur muses after a four-mile urban trek through Arlington.

Some people want the exercise, sure, but others . . .

Well, let's just say the Northern Virginia Hiking Club leader has been to his share of hiking-inspired weddings.

And do the happy couples continue hiking after their big day?

"Not really," he says.

The Maryland Outdoor Club isn't singles-centric either, but, you know, things happen.

It just takes some people more time to connect, says Colin Babb, president of the Maryland Outdoor Club. Not everyone can walk into a bar or a party like the one at the embassy and have the ability to make an impression. "The rest of us," he says, need a longer, slower, more natural period of exposure.

That's part of the reason he thinks people are drawn to clubs like his.

"A large number of people around here are from someplace else. It sort of forms an expatriate community," he says. "It's a way for people to meet people and connect around something that has nothing to do with their jobs."

Name a hobby, an interest or an activity and there's likely to be a corresponding group of enthusiasts to match it in the Washington area. Unlike more general organizations, such as MeetinDC and Things to Do, these clubs (film societies, vegan networks, art leagues) are, by definition, self-selecting.

Meaning that there is a common connection among members, but also a guise. People aren't looking for friends, necessarily, just hoping to get in a good hike. Or refine their technique with the pros who run the photography club. Or do some good while volunteering with a conservation group.

Or support the arts -- as the couple of hundred finely dressed minglers who filled the main hall last month at the Corcoran Gallery of Art were ostensibly there to do.

Of course, the martinis and canapes seemed a much bigger focus than the modernist works lining the walls. That's the way it is sometimes with the 1869 Society, an organization of young, professional (often preppy) types that raises money to support the gallery.

So happy hours like this -- where most in attendance looked as if they had shot home to doll up and slip into summer cocktail attire rather than show up in drab office clothes -- do lure some art zealots, but also more casual art appreciators for whom the draw, really, is the crowd.

"I don't at all think that I'm at all an art expert. And I know how hard it is to be an expert," says Robert Dyer, a member of the society's steering committee. But it's a good way to learn, he adds, and more than that, "it's totally social. These people just come to meet new friends, to have a really good time."

"The alternative," he says, "is being a hermit."

* * *

Leary, the Duke psychologist, had a colleague who tried to study hermits once. The project never really got off the ground. Turns out hermits are hard to find, not so eager to become the focus of academic research.

They got far enough, Leary says, to conclude that people who live in the absence of others end up deeply disturbed.

"There is no evidence you can find that people who have no relationships or group memberships are happy about it," he says. "People do need to belong."

Ellen McCarthy is a Weekend section staff writer. Her e-mail address ismccarthye@washpost.com.