Crave More Pants Trial Tales? Try These On for Size

The following is reprinted from Marc Fisher's blog, Raw Fisher, which appears every day on the Web and every Tuesday in this spot.

With D.C. Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff expected to rule on the $54 million pants suit sometime this week, here are some scenes from the two-day trial, in which D.C. Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson sued his neighborhood dry cleaners after it misplaced a pair of pants he had brought in for alterations.

The Reasonable Roy Pearson

Pearson went to some lengths to persuade the judge that he is a simple servant of the people who really would rather not have sued the Chungs but was forced to do so because they committed the horrific crime of posting a "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign and then not caving to any and every demand made by any consumer.

"It's always been my practice to try to settle cases early because things inevitably escalate," Pearson said at one point.

That Goes for Us, Too

After a lengthy debate over whether Pearson, who represented himself, was testifying, arguing law or entering an exhibit, an exasperated Judge Bartnoff said it all:

"I don't know what we're doing at this point."

Divorce Case Redux

Pearson and Judge Bartnoff squabbled throughout the trial over to what extent the pants case would be an opportunity for Pearson to "relitigate" his divorce trial, which took place in Fairfax County a few years ago. A Virginia appeals court decided in that case that Pearson abused the legal system with excessive filings; for example, he peppered his wife with 248 demands for responses to questions. Bartnoff resisted Pearson's attempts in this trial to talk about how the Virginia courts had supposedly erred in his divorce case.

"You appeared to be suggesting that I should somehow find that the Virginia court had been unreasonable, and I'm not going to go behind what the Virginia court said," Bartnoff said.

"The court can and should go behind the decision," Pearson replied.

The Closeted Truth

After some confusion over what a particular photograph that had been entered into evidence actually depicted, Judge Bartnoff said it appeared "to show two things: One is that Mr. Pearson owns lots of pairs of pants." Indeed, Pearson testified that he had in his closet somewhere between 40 and 60 pairs of pants -- and he insisted that not one of them comes with cuffs -- proving, he said, that the pants Custom Cleaners tried to return to him were not and could not be his.

Driving Mr. Pearson

Among Pearson's many demands for big money was his calculation that he deserved $15,000 to pay for renting a car every weekend so that he can drive his clothes to a dry cleaners other than Custom Cleaners, which is the only cleaners within walking distance of his home in the Fort Lincoln section of Washington. Judge Bartnoff could barely hold in her laughter as Pearson spelled out his potential car rental costs over the next decade.

"Obviously, I think it's ludicrous," said defense lawyer Christopher Manning.

Even Pearson noted that his attempts to use a different cleaners a mile from his house "proved to be so demanding that after a year of that, I finally succeeded in getting a wardrobe closet at my work so I could use a cleaners near my job." But Pearson said he won't be able to use that solution for much longer because his office is moving and he will no longer have a proper closet in his office.

The Down Years

After working for a quarter-century for Neighborhood Legal Services, Pearson was unemployed for more than two years before being appointed administrative law judge. During those jobless years, Pearson testified, he had no car, no bank account and cash holdings of only $1,000 to $2,000.

He said he left his longtime position with the federally funded legal services program because his boss "ceased communicating with me. I thought he was being unreasonable, so I quit." After that, Pearson said, he collected unemployment benefits and was enrolled in a utility assistance program that allowed him to avoid paying for heat.

The Green Mr. Pearson

Pearson said he has not had a car for decades. Asked why, he said, "I have some concerns about pollution and the environment."

"But no concerns about renting a car?" Manning asked.

Pearson replied that it was okay to rent a car for weekends and long trips.