Wedded to Green

Green weddings, it should be noted, do not necessarily cost less.

"Sure, it's easier to be green when you're affluent," says Rebecca Mead, the London-born author of the just-published "One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding" (Penguin Press, $25.95). The book, currently generating a lot of buzz, takes stock of how and why many weddings have become among the most overwrought, over-funded social events in American culture.

Mead says the environmental awareness has exploded just in the year since her book went to the publisher. She suspects, however, that the green wedding will remain a small segment of the market.

"While I think there are many people who are very environmentally conscious -- and that is a good, important thing -- there is always something so classically American about turning everything into a new way of consuming products," she says. "It's not a good thing if you end up buying five green products instead of one."

She says the most ecologically sensitive way to throw a wedding is to have a small one: say, 20 guests instead of 200.

Deskiewicz and Castro say they do not think of green weddings as a fad and wanted to incorporate only elements that reflect sustainability in a responsible way. Instead of toss-aside party favors, they are giving departing guests small jars of honey from Ritchie's Honey Farm in Manassas. The caterer will set up a recycling station on-site. Organic fair-trade coffee will be served. Leftover food will be donated to a homeless shelter.

But there are limits: "I did go ahead with a regular dress," Deskiewicz says. She chose a silk wedding gown rather than one made of hemp (though those are indeed available, for $329, at http://www.rawganique.com).

Carol Kolsky's daughter Rebecca was married two years ago at a Virginia farm to fellow medical student Timothy O'Meara. Instead of formal floral centerpieces, Maryland caterer Susan Gage arranged edible centerpieces of artisan breads, heirloom tomatoes and olives around terra-cotta pots holding fresh heart-shaped rosemary topiaries. The bride (who had no bouquet) and groom were accompanied by Harold and Maude, their two chocolate brown Labs. The couple planted a weeping beech tree as a symbol of their new life together. In lieu of gifts, guests were invited to donate to a small foundation the couple established to help children in Zambia.

At her wedding a year and a half ago, Ilonka Oszvald of Silver Spring wore an ivory silk wedding dress that had belonged to her fiance's grandmother. She had it dry-cleaned by a cleaner who didn't use harsh chemicals. Guests carpooled to the church, and the couple decided to forget party favors.

"Now some of my friends are having the cloth diaper-disposable debate," she says. "That's in the way future for us."