Slaying the Debt Monster

The No. 1 question people ask me is: "How can I get out of debt?"

Perhaps my answers to the following questions from one of my online discussions this year will help if you're dealing with debt:

Q We were able to consolidate some student loans -- the government-backed ones -- at a cheap rate last June. The private loans, more than $20,000, are still at an interest rate of about 14 percent. Lenders only want to sell us a home-equity loan to consolidate. I don't want to do that. I refinanced two years ago at a really good rate. The student loan debt is in my husband's name; the mortgage is in my name. We married two years ago and I'm in no hurry to put the home in his name. I love him, but I bought it before he was in the family. Also, why tie him up with the mortgage debt of $200,000 to consolidate $20,000? Any advice on how to get those private loans at a lower rate? Lenders are no help.

AYou don't want to tie your husband up in the mortgage of the house you both live in because he wasn't in the "family" when you bought it? Isn't he family now? Anyway, I agree I wouldn't refinance to pay off the student loan. The lenders are no help because they aren't your friends. Why would they want to help you? They are getting 14 percent interest. Good deal for them.

So instead of trying to find more borrowed money to pay off borrowed money, try something revolutionary. Pay the loans off with real money. Cut where you can so you and your husband can aggressively pay off the student loans.

I need some guidance on what to do with a coming $21,000 bonus. I can put up to half in my 401(k). We have saved $370,000 in our retirement accounts and eight months' living expenses in a money market account. We have no credit card debt, but do have $13,000 in car loans (at 5.25 percent), and $10,000 remains on our mortgage. We make the final payment for college for our oldest child in two weeks and our youngest child has free tuition for all four years. Any advice?

Pay off the mortgage, and finish paying off the car with the rest of the bonus money and $2,000 from savings. Then stand in front of your house and yell, "We are debt free!" Inspire others!

I understand your aversion to debt, but I have had good luck taking advantage of extended financing offers with zero percent interest on computers, furniture and appliances. It is an easy way to manage cash flow and meet needs (broken computer and dying oven). Just be sure to be disciplined about making payments during the "free" period.

Ah, and therein lies the problem. Most people are not disciplined. I, too, have in the past taken advantage of such offers and paid off the goods well before the time when the interest rate kicked in. But then I thought: What if I lost my job or got disabled? The best intentions, right? If I wait until I have the money to pay for what I want, I don't have to worry that I won't have the funds later. Remember, nothing is guaranteed in the future -- even your paycheck.

How do you advise others to handle monetary jealousy? My husband and I own a small condo with a lot of hand-me-down furniture. We make about $110,000 combined a year. We owe on both of our cars, plus a little credit card debt, plus $8,000 in student loans. I know that we live pretty comfortably and don't want for much. But friends of ours are much better off -- a lot of upgrades to their homes, newer, bigger homes, bigger savings and retirement accounts, etc. Sometimes I get really down about our situation and emotional. How do you recommend I deal with this?

Those friends who seem like they are living large are probably living large in big debt. You just never know about people's personal finances. So stop comparing. Credit card debt (even a little), car loans and student loans should be enough to keep you grounded and focused on improving. You are not in bad shape, but with an income of more than $100,000, you should not be carrying credit card debt. And why don't you pay off those student loans of just $8,000?

Keep in mind, the problem with looking at other's people's grass is that from your side of the fence, you can only see so much.

· On the air: Michelle Singletary discusses personal finance Tuesdays on NPR's "Day to Day" program and online athttp://www.npr.org.

· By mail: Readers can write to her at The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071.

· By e-mail:singletarym@washpost.com.

Comments and questions are welcome, but because of the volume of mail, personal responses are not always possible. Please note that comments or questions may be used in a future column, with the writer's name, unless a specific request to do otherwise is indicated.