Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Vatican last week issued a set of "10 Commandments" for drivers. (If you think it's tough driving around here, try Rome.)

The commandments were issued as part of the church's "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road."

I. You shall not kill.

(Even if they are traveling 45 mph in the left lane.)

II. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

(As long as they don't get in my way.)

III. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

(Please use all five fingers when waving.)

IV. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

(Love thy neighbor, even if they cutteth thou off.)

V. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

(To the driver of the jacked-up Ford F-250 with a gun rack: The Big Guy is talking to YOU.)

VI. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

(Do not hand the keys to Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton.)

VII. Support the families of accident victims.

(Please avoid frivolous lawsuits, such as, say, suing someone for $54 million for losing your pants.)

VIII. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

(Sorry about yelling that about your mother. Now please put the knife down.)

IX. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

(Watch out for motorcyclists and Kia drivers.)

X. Feel responsible towards others.

(I'm thinking "Beltway Group Hug"!)

-- Eric M. Weiss

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