Civil Union Laws Don't Ensure Benefits

The couple said they feel a gain in some areas -- next year they can file joint state tax returns, and they now have the power to make medical decisions if their partner becomes incapacitated. But they nevertheless feel disappointed.

"I'm not saying I don't feel we made some progress, but we've also set up a double standard at the same time," said Moskovitz, who also requested the name of his company be withheld. "The reality is that civil unions are not being treated as marriage -- they're clearly seen as something less."

The denial rate in New Jersey may turn around. In the only other two states with civil unions -- Connecticut and Vermont (New Hampshire is set to begin offering them in January) -- initial confusion about the bill also resulted in rough starts. But officials and activists in both states are quick to point out that while some couples continue to be denied benefits by companies citing federal laws, most have provided them because of the region's liberal corporate culture.

Although companies with self-funded insurance programs in Massachusetts also have the right to ignore the state's gay marriage law, activists and state officials call the withholding of benefits uncommon.

That is partly, they say, because companies denying coverage to same-sex married partners appear to present a more direct bias. "You're basically forcing a company to come out and say -- look, it's not because you're not married, it's because you're gay," said Mary Bonauto, civil rights attorney with Boston-based Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders. "The discrimination becomes that much more obvious; it's a line companies aren't so eager to cross."

But advocates concede that the experience in liberal Massachusetts may not translate in other states. Some employers who initially declined to extend marriage benefits to gay couples there came under immediate and intense public pressure to comply.

For instance, shortly before gay marriage was approved there in 2004, an official with the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers made a statement to reporters saying the 6,000-member union would not extend benefits to same-sex married couples. It immediately became headline news.

"We had news trucks parked outside all day, and there was a huge outcry. We had [Rep.] Barney Frank calling us along with everyone else. We were all over the television as the bad guys," said Richard Gambino, the union's trust fund administrator.

"Then our board met to actually discuss it, and we decided to go ahead and offer those benefits," he said. "Did we do it because of the pressure? People will think what they want to think. But I think we just did the right thing."