Keynoters: They Can Turn a Phrase on a Dime

But trying to pen a song parody, we couldn't get beyond "I turned 21 in rehab . . ." -- and just as well, it turns out. While the flame-tressed train-wreck starlet is extending her stay in rehab, her mother says she will actually spend her birthday with her family, outside the ritzy Malibu facility she checked into after her May DUI arrest. So the occasion calls for another song, and an editor nominates another country classic, Merle Travis's "Three Times Seven."

I'm three times seven, and I do as I doggone please

There ain't nobody this side of heaven gonna get me on my knees

I'm three times seven, and I'm gonna have my fun

Well I just won't tame, I'm gonna be the same till I'm three times twenty-one .

But maybe you have a better 21st-birthday song in mind? Sing it to us at reliablesource@washpost.com.

Sorry, You're Not on the List

One in an occasional series of dispatches from parties you should have crashed.

Event: Digital Freedom Band Showcase, Thursday night.

Site: The Rock & Roll Hotel, H Street NE.

Cause: The Digital Freedom Campaign, a movement seeking to protect the rights of artists and consumers "to use digital technology free of unreasonable government restrictions or punitive lawsuits" -- basically, so The Man can't stop you from transferring that song you bought off the Internet onto your new iPod.

Who picked up the tab: Consumer Electronics Association.

Highlight: Sensitive indie-folk-rocker Jonathan Coulton's wistful acoustic cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back."

Crowd: Hill staffers, junior lobbyist types . . . actually, you probably could have crashed it.

Food: Chips, guac, veggie dip -- hey, more than you usually get at a concert.

Bar: Open!

Dancing: Yes, surprisingly, including some sexy moves on a couple who looked like they just got out of a meeting with their congressman, and some guy in shorts who kept doing the splits.

Overheard:" Baumer[the final band of the night, out of Columbia, S.C.] is said to occupy a sonic space between Nine Inch Nails and New Order."