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The Birds and the Bees and the Gelada Baboons

The robust "courting" behavior among mallards is one of the topics in the PBS series "What Females Want and Males Will Do," starting next spring. (By Linda Davidson -- The Washington Post)

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"I was thinking more about Washington," Abraham said without missing a beat. Snap!

Another reporter noted that if on this show the animals were replaced with humans "we would call it pornographic," adding, "What do we get out of this, really?"

Fred Kaufman, "Nature" executive producer, went into full spin mode: "It's not about the act of copulation, it's really about these rather fantastic strategies" animals adopt to attract a mate.

Sensing this was not playing well in the room, Abraham leapt to his rescue: "Attracting a mate is not pornographic," he said, it's a part of our society that has been lost.

"There used to be church socials with the idea of mating in mind," Abraham complained. "And people don't really want to go to bars. . . . There were matchmaking societies at one time. Where are they? What can we do about fixing the situation?" he asked the room.

(Crickets.)

"I speak as the father of an absolutely wonderful daughter who can't seem to find a man," Abraham explained, and "I don't agree with this aspect of 'pornographic' at all."

But Patricelli admitted, "I have been referred to as a pornothologist."

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