Friend? Not? It's One or the Other

For those who find their work and home worlds merging, Facebook provides a long list of customizable privacy settings. (MySpace and LinkedIn offer much less flexibility. MySpace only permits three levels of profile visibility: public, over-18 users only or friends only.)

The most useful Facebook option is the "limited profile" that you can present to certain people -- a Work Me in the place of the After-Work Me my friends might get to see.

But Facebook also lets users fine-tune dozens of other aspects of your online identity, including which parts of your profile are visible to whom and what sort of communication you'll welcome from others. You can also hide applications you've added that, for example, map your travels or graph your political leanings, if you prefer to keep those private.

Most Facebook users, however, don't touch those options. Kelly said only 20 percent of them "have made any tweak to their privacy settings," adding that he thought most of the remaining 80 percent were fine with the defaults.

The number of different privacy preferences -- at least 135 in my account -- may also explain where that apathy comes from. With so many options, Facebook risks bureaucratizing itself, like an office that's grown too big.

Yet not one of these options allows you to categorize Facebook contacts as close or distant friends. (Kelly suggested that was coming but wouldn't be specific. )

In the meantime, the best option may be to avoid the temptation to put all your information at any one site. Put your work credentials at one place, but present the party photos at another, less public location and schedule the potluck dinners at yet another.

Should you find it easier to center your online life at one place, though, remember this: Good social-networking sites help you meet other people, but great ones also help you avoid other people.

Living with technology, or trying to? E-mail Rob Pegoraro atrobp@washpost.com. Read more athttp://blog.washingtonpost.com/fasterforward/