Secret Struggles From a Lost Season

But the Tuesday before the Redskins' 36-30 overtime thriller against Jacksonville on Oct. 1, Washington canceled a United Way event because he had been summoned to New York to meet with a league counselor. Washington raged at the perceived humiliation, once threatening to refuse the session, which could have triggered a four-game suspension. Tuesday is the one day players have off during the week.

"They wanted some things from you, and no, I wasn't happy about it. I had to go to New York a couple of times. They wanted me to see the league's psychiatrist. And I pouted a little about that. They wanted you to pee before game day and if you didn't, you weren't playing. They kind of treated you like you were a criminal, and yes, I was definitely mad about that. I always think of myself as a fun person, but last year, there was nothing about it that was fun."

Coach Joe Gibbs, assistant head coach-defense Gregg Williams and director of sports medicine Bubba Tyer declined to comment for this article. The league levies heavy fines on teams and officials who disclose information about the program that can be considered confidential. Tyer, through a Redskins spokesman, declined to discuss even in generic terms how the medical staff advises the players about how to stay hydrated.

Citing confidentiality, the NFL also declined to comment on the sections of the league policy applicable to Washington, not even to provide clarity to the procedural elements of the program.

"In this day and age, no one is going to defend anyone," said a confidant of the linebacker who is unhappy that the team's medical staff and coaching staff did not defend its own player for this report. "I remember when it happened, when he had to go to New York. He didn't know what it was, whether it was too much water or some painkiller. When it happened to Shawne Merriman, I said, 'Okay, I can see that.' When it was Marcus, I didn't believe any of it. But in this world, there's no more room for mistakes, even honest ones."

The point, according to one Redskins official, was clear.

"During this time, in this climate, this is one issue no one wants to go near," he said. "Everyone loves Marcus, but no one in the organization is going defend him if it looks like they're criticizing the league. I hate to say it, but he was kind of on his own."

Some teammates and union officials said that in today's climate, with the intense scrutiny on steroid testing, players should always know better than to put themselves at risk.

"During my 12 years here, I know there are guys who have tested positive under the steroid program as a result of not knowing what they were taking," said Stacy Robinson, the former New York Giants wide receiver who is now director of player development for the NFLPA in charge of the substance abuse policy. "They were making innocent mistakes, which is why we created the supplement certification program, which is a safe haven for players to take supplements that have been tested and approved, which means they contained no substances which are banned by the NFL."

In the end, Washington considers himself fortunate to have a clean slate. Most players dread training camp, but Washington sees it as the official erasure of the 2006 season. He says he has recovered from the hip surgery. Earlier this year, a portion of his dignity, he says, was returned to him. Having served 90 days in the program without a recurrence or diluted sample, Washington said he was released from it, instead of having to remain under the league's steroid microscope for the next two seasons.

"I don't ever want to go through what I went through last year," Washington said. "I'll drink a little bit of water, but from now it's all lemonade, or Gatorade or something. That will never happen to me again."