Wouldn't It Be Nice...

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By Leonard Shapiro
Special to washingtonpost.com
Tuesday, July 24, 2007; 5:18 PM

CARNOUSTIE, Scotland -- Away from American television (praise be) for nearly two weeks, your British Open correspondent and web site broadcasting critic will celebrate Christmas in July with our usual "wouldn't-it-be-nice" holiday column, with the usual apologies to The Beach Boys.

Wouldn't it be nice if Nick Faldo had some time to work on his golf game? By my count, this year he's done golf analysis for The Golf Channel, CBS Sports, ABC Sports, TNT and even the BBC, where he's appeared all this week at the British Open, while also handling ABC's telecasts. Talk about a guy who learned how to say hello when it was time to say goodbye.

Wouldn't it be nice to give a nod to Nats radio guy Charlie Slowes and television voice Bob Carpenter for solid, professional efforts all season and offering plenty of enthusiasm for the plucky home side, without sounding like over-the-top homers?

Wouldn't it be nice if Daniel Snyder's newly purchased high-watt radio station will finally allow Redskins fans a chance to listen to games without constantly having to adjust the dial, particularly while riding around the beltway?

Wouldn't it be nice to hear Frank Herzog, now a regular newscaster on WTOP Radio, say "Touchdown, Washington Redskins" one or many more times?

Wouldn't it be nice if The Tony Kornheiser Show on Washington Post Radio actually featured Mr. Tony a few times a week? If not, change the name until he comes back after Monday Night Football.

Wouldn't it be nice if all the people doing Mr. Tony's show would stop the constant laughing/cackling/giggling/guffawing? It's just not that funny.

Wouldn't it be nice to give it up for the people now producing the best local sports round-up every night on Comcast SportsNet? For hard core fans of all things Washington and Baltimore, they're making local sports news on the regular network affiliates at Channels 4, 5, 7 and 9 almost irrelevant.

Wouldn't it be nice if Bryant Gumbel stopped taking cheap shots at NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw on HBO's Real Sports, or at least gave him the opportunity to offer his side of the story?

Wouldn't if be nice if Gumbel, a man who hosts a generally terrific show that constantly does pieces on various injustices around the sports world, dropped his membership at Burning Tree Country Club, which allows no women members?

Wouldn't it be nice if NBC Sports changed its mind and offered Bud Collins a two-year contract that would allow him to say goodbye to Wimbledon at the age of 80? If not, how about CBS letting Mr. Crazy Pants Tennis work the U.S. Open for as long as he get those trousers on one leg at a time?

Wouldn't it be nice for me to somehow fathom the appeal of watching a NASCAR race on television? How many times can you get excited about nice guys in fast cars making left turns for three hours?


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