Birthday Bashes That Take the Cake

"We're proud parents. We want to celebrate in a big way," said Gagan Arora, 27. His wife, Shivali Arora, 24, with a tumble of freshly blow-dried curls and a pearl-stitched pink gown, cooed: "Some families in India have this kind of money now, so why not celebrate?"

During winter months, parties can include rides on elephants, ponies or camels, rock climbing, go-karting and miniature train rides. Puppet shows and magicians are year-round attractions.

Similar to bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah parties in the Jewish faith, Indian birthday parties usually feature elaborate themes -- typically the child's favorite hobby, superhero or cartoon -- emblazoned on napkins and cakes and carved into ice sculptures. (Harry Potter and Spiderman were huge this year, along with Barbie, a regular.)

Parents frequently compare invitations, regarding them as a kind of indicator of how fancy or plain the festivities will be. Also key is the all-important "return gift," or party favor, which tends to add a significant amount to an already steep bill.

"If you have money in this country, anything is possible," said Gupta, the party planner. "It's the best country in the world to be rich. But it's also the worst country in the world to be poor."

Indeed, India is a place of confounding contrasts. According to the United Nations, 42 percent of India's children are malnourished, a higher rate than in most African countries. Children are a fixture on bustling city streets, their hands outstretched for spare rupees.

Not far from the Arora birthday party at the Daffodils Hotel in New Delhi, barefoot girls just a few years older than Taisa performed cartwheels and twisted themselves into pretzel-like shapes as they begged for rupees, often tapping on car windows. "Hungry," they cried.

Indians themselves are not unaware of the contrast.

"In India, it's the fat kid in the city with excess and the skinny kid in the village living on prayers and grain crops, and it's a huge disparity," Anuj Nyyar, 26, who runs a DJ and party planning business for children's birthdays, said with a sigh. "But if anything, these birthday parties will keep getting bigger. People who have made it want to spend, and they are paying through the nose for these parties. Both realities exist in India, and we can't really judge parents for wanting to enjoy their wealth."

Some parents are rejecting the bigger parties as too materialistic and too far from old-fashioned birthday celebrations, and instead host a traditional lunch of kheer or rice porridge and maybe a cake.

"I'm no one to criticize people who can spend that kind of money on their kids. But I just feel it's a bit too much and too early. I don't think it's always the kind of fun a child, under say 8 or 9, is looking for," said Sushma Jain, 28, a primary school teacher in East Delhi, who has a 2-year-old. "If people have the money these days, maybe it's better to save in your child's name for the future."

Such frugality seems to be more the exception than the rule. Some parents say they feel intense party pressure from their children, who talk about whose bash had the best party favors (an iPod Mini per child is seen as the gold standard) and most impressive entertainment (it's not a real party without a merry-go-round). Others say the parties are simply fun and a way to enjoy the fruits of their hard work.

"With economic success has also come shocking lack of time for the urban Indian family to spend together," said Arpana Handa, 32, the sister-in-law of Taisa's mother. "The birthday party is another way of giving us this in our busy, modern lives."