Singing for Her Supper

I am often in a situation where I realize that the two people that I am talking to probably don't know each other or haven't been introduced to each other.

It seems so stuffy to say, "Jason, this is Emma. Emma, this is Jason."

And should you always start with the "higher-ranking" person's name, or the newer person's name, in the intro?

To avoid the above stuffiness, I will usually say, "Emma, have you met Jason?" but then I feel like I might be insulting one of them by only directing the question to one.

"Have you two met?" causes problems because then I am again faced with the stuffy "Jason, this is Emma. Emma, this is Jason." What is a smooth way of making sure they know each other's names? Does any of this matter?

Stuffy? And, pray tell, exactly what, if you please, is wrong with being stuffy?

Miss Manners admits that her natural predilection for the stuffy has been stiffened by the way its opposite, "casual," has come to signal the sloppy and the uncaring.

But even if she allowed you to get away with that slur, she could hardly imagine a more plain, simple, straightforward set of statements than "Emma, this is John Tweedledom. John, this is Sarah Tweedledee."

Yes, stuffy old Miss Manners has added their surnames.

She finds it ridiculous to withhold half the identity if the introduction is to be of any use. And she has addressed the lady first, although a large difference in age also counts, and a 17-year-old Emma would be introduced to a 54-year-old Jason.

Those are small courtesies. What matters most is that you take it upon yourself to introduce people you know instead of letting them stand around awkwardly, and that you do so in the conventional way rather than struggling to reach for something original.

Dear Miss Manners: