Tell Me About It
(Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
By Carolyn Hax
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, August 1, 2007


I recently met a girl I really like. She just moved to the city for a job, which ended the relationship with her longtime boyfriend. We get along great, but she has told me she is not ready to date. Since she doesn't know many people, I want to be her friend as she acclimates to a new town. However, I don't want to be seen only as a friend and not as a potential boyfriend (we've had a conversation about this). Any advice on walking this tightrope?

Boy Friend, Not Boyfriend

Yes. Don't worry about it, because you're not walking a tightrope. The idea that you can engineer romance is a myth. Sure, you can manipulate this situation or that conversation -- but then all you get is someone who had to be manipulated into liking you. Lucky you.

Please, just be yourself; follow the good precedent you set by being transparent about your motives. It'll either happen with her or it won't.


My daughter is getting married. She and her fiance have everything they need for their home. Is it okay to ask for money instead of a gift? If it is okay, how do we word this?

Stumped in Texas

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