NOTE: This archive only contains Carolyn Hax columns through March 2011. Her more recent columns are located here.

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

Tell Me About It
(Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)

Network News

X Profile
View More Activity
By Carolyn Hax
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Carolyn:

I recently met a girl I really like. She just moved to the city for a job, which ended the relationship with her longtime boyfriend. We get along great, but she has told me she is not ready to date. Since she doesn't know many people, I want to be her friend as she acclimates to a new town. However, I don't want to be seen only as a friend and not as a potential boyfriend (we've had a conversation about this). Any advice on walking this tightrope?

Boy Friend, Not Boyfriend

Yes. Don't worry about it, because you're not walking a tightrope. The idea that you can engineer romance is a myth. Sure, you can manipulate this situation or that conversation -- but then all you get is someone who had to be manipulated into liking you. Lucky you.

Please, just be yourself; follow the good precedent you set by being transparent about your motives. It'll either happen with her or it won't.

Carolyn:

My daughter is getting married. She and her fiance have everything they need for their home. Is it okay to ask for money instead of a gift? If it is okay, how do we word this?

Stumped in Texas


CONTINUED     1        >

© 2007 The Washington Post Company

Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity