Reinvent Your Life

Skeith stayed with an old friend, Michael, whom she eventually married, but the shock of starting over in a new country was formidable. She found herself dogged by sadness, ignorant of such elemental things as driving, pumping gas, dealing with money and using the phone. Her husband and neighbors helped her ease into the new lifestyle, and her family back in England began to understand that she was happier because of her choice, however inexplicable it first seemed.

"Looking back, I know that the only way I coped was by taking one day at a time, one step at a time," Skeith says. "I didn't look at the big picture. If I had, I might never have taken that first step."

The first step -- and continuing to take those steps -- is what's important, says Robert Quinn, author of "Deep Change: Discovering the Leader Within" and a business professor at the University of Michigan. "When you go through deep change, it doesn't matter if you're wrong," Quinn says. "It matters that you're moving."

There are times in one's life where we either make a frightening change or continue to die a slow death.

"People will go to great lengths to deny that the external world is changing and needs something else from us," Quinn says. "We will just stay in the pattern we've traditionally succeeded at. If we do that when the world is calling for something else, there's usually a breaking point where we can't function anymore, and then we're forced into some form of that deep change. . . .

"There's great exhilaration in the new identity that starts to form, a greater alignment with the environment you're in. You expand your consciousness, your awareness and your capacity. That's always very exhilarating."

Job (Dis)Satisfaction

There are no official statistics on Starting Over. There is no Federal Bureau of Sayonara.

But the seeds of existential antsiness are apparent when you look at U.S. job satisfaction numbers, which have corroded over the past 20 years. Consider: More than half of Americans across all income brackets are dissatisfied with their jobs today, according to the Conference Board, a business research group. This is up from 39 percent in 1987.

People change careers every three years on average, says Sarah Edwards, a licensed clinical social worker in California who, with her husband, Paul, co-authored "Changing Directions Without Losing Your Way" and "Finding Your Perfect Work."

There's an explanation for this rampant feeling of something's-not-right. In early life, people fall into two paths, Edwards says. We either follow the career route prescribed by our academic experience or we follow the example or guidance of our parents.

"At the time, we're so pleased to have opportunities, so we step into things," she says. "When you're in your 20s, you're very excited about life and you want to get hooked up somewhere. And once you're there, you start saying, 'Wait . . . .' As we move on into our 30s or 40s, we start to question. 'How did I get here? Is this where I decided to go?' People start thinking, 'What am I doing?' "

In work, several elements foster contentment, says Jessica Schairer, a clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles: feeling proud of what you're doing, having your co-workers and employers like and respect you, and using talents that come naturally to you.