A Major Life Segue Via . . . Segway

-- Lavanya Ramanathan

SAVE THE DATE

[ CONCERT ] "El Cantante," Played Out Live Before Your Eyes Lindsay and Sienna and Mary-Kate and Nicole have spent the past two years pointedly bringing skinny back, seemingly canceling out everything that J.Lo had worked so hard to accomplish (sniff!), and it's got us wondering, does Jennifer Lopez even matter anymore? We know this much: She does (kinda), but mostly as that fur-covered thing attached to Marc Anthony's hip. Not surprising, then, that she'll be visiting Verizon Center with Anthony. They'll bring their googly-eyed balladry to town on Oct. 5 at 8 p.m. $38.50-$149. 601 F St. NW. 202-397-7328.

[ LITERATURE ] From Bedside Table to Stage: David Sedaris The popular writer and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor has elevated himself to literary rock-stardom by sharing stories of his family and real-life foibles (some say exaggerated, but nevertheless . . . ); who can forget Sedaris's "Santaland Diaries," about his time as a mall elf? He will be at George Washington University's Lisner Auditorium in the fall to read from his new work, answer questions and sign books. Only a handful of tickets remain, available at the Lisner box office. Oct. 6. 8 p.m. $35-$40; GWU students, $20. 730 21st St. NW. 301-808-6900.

[ FESTIVALS ] A Trek for a Tale Next month a lengthy drive to Williamsburg will put you at the heart of the "Spinning Stories/Spanning Time" festival, the town's huge gathering of storytellers. For this third annual event, set for Sept. 14-16, oral historians and other chatty types from around the globe will tell tall tales, African and Caribbean stories, Asian myths and even urban legends -- stories from the 1700s to the present. Passes, $15-$65; ages 6-17, $15-$33. 101A Visitors Center Dr., Williamsburg. 800-447-7867.

The District

Today

[ ON STAGE ] Greg Behrendt: He's Just Not That Into You, but Are You Into Him? Make it a girls' night out and head to the Improv, because that's where you can catch the intriguing standup comic who was one of the writers behind the best-selling, ubiquitous "tell-it-sister" book (even we have been advised that, honey, "he's just not that into you," when someone couldn't remember our last name). $25. Today and tomorrow at 10:30 and Sunday at 8 p.m. DC Improv, 1140 Connecticut Ave. NW. 202-296-7008.

[ ON STAGE ] "Allah Made Me Funny" Returns Positive vibes and a new perspective on what it means to be a Muslim is what this three-man comedy tour is about. We last heard from Preacher Moss, a writer for Damon Wayans and George Lopez; co-founder Azhar Usman; and Mohammed Amer when they hit Lisner this spring. They return for a two-night stand at Riot Act Comedy Club tonight and tomorrow. 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. both nights. 1610 14th St. NW. 202-625-6229 or get tickets in advance at http://www.riotactcomedy.com (this is recommended, along with getting there early, because these shows get packed).

Tomorrow

[ CONCERT ] Indian Summer: Blackfire Siblings Clayson, Klee and Jeneda Benally make up this punk-rock-inspired, politically driven Native American band, but they also can tap their roots to play traditional Navajo music. They play the Museum of the American Indian's Indian Summer series tomorrow at 5:30 p.m. Free. (The free concerts continue twice a month through September. See http://www.americanindian.si.edu for a schedule.) Fourth Street and Independence Avenue SW. 202-633-1000.

Tuesday

[ CONCERT ] Speedy Tolliver It's nearly a month till Arlington hosts its fiddle contest named for the prolific local bluegrass musician (who will be 90 next year!). But you can see Tolliver and the New Old-Time String Band in the cool comfort of the Kennedy Center when they play the Millennium Stage on Tuesday. Free. 6 p.m. 2700 F St. NW. 202-467-4600.

Maryland

Today

[ FESTIVALS ] Last Chances to Hit the Fair -- and See Cars Hit Each Other Today and tomorrow are the final days to see the MoCo agricultural fair and the only two nights to catch the demolition derbies from the grandstand. $10 (in addition to fair admission of $3-$7); younger than 2, free. Derbies at 8 p.m. both nights. Today, 10 a.m.-midnight, tomorrow 9 a.m.-midnight. Midway rides open at 11 a.m. (Note: Park free at Lakeforest Mall, Lost Knife Road and Odendhal Avenue in Gaithersburg, and take the free shuttle bus, available from 8 a.m. to 11:45 p.m.) 301-926-3100. For a full schedule, visit http://www.mcagfair.com/schedule.htm.

Tomorrow

[ FOR FAMILIES ] Backyard Science Days in Baltimore The Maryland Science Center hosts this celebration of gonzo science activities and do-it-yourself experimenting for children only once a year, and this weekend is it. Tomorrow and Sunday, the museum brings in "Today" show and "Conan O'Brien" guest and real-life bat boy Rob Mies, who'll bring in his coterie of bats large and small. Also roaming the museum: owls, hawks, snakes, turtles, beetles and more. Event free with admission. $13.50-$14.50; ages 3-12, $10. Noon-4 p.m. both days. 601 Light St., Baltimore. 410-685-2370.

[ FOR KIDS ] "The Frog Prince" The Beale Street Puppets' run of this classic show, in which a vain prince learns a lesson in humility when he's turned into a not-so-pretty frog, begins today at Gaithersburg Arts Barn. $12; $10 city residents. Today and tomorrow at 2 p.m. Various times through Aug. 25. 311 Kent Square Rd., Gaithersburg. 301-258-6394.

Northern Virginia

Today

[ FESTIVALS ] The Derby at the Prince William County Fair This Virginia fair is different from MoCo's in that it doesn't charge extra for its grandstand events, which include the famed demolition derby (tonight at 7) and freestyle motocross jumpoff competition (tomorrow at 7). $7; ages 3-6 and seniors, $5; ages 2 and younger, free. 3 p.m.-midnight today; noon-midnight tomorrow. 10624 Dumfries Rd., Manassas. 703-368-0173. Visit http://www.pwcfair.com for a full schedule.

Monday

[ CLOSING ] Clint Eastwood Film Festival The Crystal City edition of this series wraps Monday night with a goody: "Unforgiven," the violent but multiple-Oscar-winning 1992 film that stars Eastwood, who also directed the film. Free. Dusk (between 8:30 and 9 p.m.). 18th and South Bell streets, Arlington. 703-412-9430 or http://www.georgetownfilmfest.com/hang_em_high.html.

Tuesday

[ CONCERT ] Tom Principato Band The venerable blues-inspired guitarist -- so popular around these parts that he picked up two 2006 Wammies (Washington Area Music Awards) for blues vocalist and blues recording -- hits downtown Arlington with his band in tow to play a few lunchtime downers. Free. 11:45 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Anna and David Plaza, 1525 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. 703-228-1850.