The Caped Crusader From Vermont

By Dana Milbank
Tuesday, August 21, 2007

"Sen. Patrick Leahy has a part in the next Batman movie." -- Associated Press, Aug. 19.

"Senate Judiciary Chairman Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) holds a media availability on the deadline for subpoenas for documents relating to the ... Bush administration's warrantless wiretapping program." -- Reuters, Aug. 20.

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Somewhere in Gotham, the Batphone rings. Loyal butler Alfred (played by Robert Byrd) summons Bruce Wayne ( Leahy). It's Commissioner Gordon on the line, and the news is grim: A villainous alliance has been formed by the Riddler (Karl Rove), the Penguin (Dick Cheney), the Joker (Alberto Gonzales) and Catwoman (Harriet Miers).

The fearsome foursome has brainwashed the previously incorruptible White House counsel (Fred Fielding), and the villains are trying to take over the American government through wanton and reckless claims of executive privilege. The latest sign of doom: Fielding has missed yet another deadline to respond to Senate subpoenas probing a secret eavesdropping program.

Enter the caped crusader, who has flown in from Vermont wearing a Batman-gray business suit and Batman-black loafers. He strikes back at Gotham's criminal masterminds with his signature weapon: the news conference. Meeting reporters in the Judiciary Committee hearing room, the Dark Knight encounters so many Batmicrophones on his Batlectern that he has to hold his Batspeech in his hands.

"The administration has produced no documents!" Leahy growled.

POW!

"No adequate basis for noncompliance!"

BANG!

"No privilege claims!"

BOP!

"No complete privilege log!"

BING!

Aspiring superhero Leahy came up short when asked at a news conference yesterday what specific weapon he might use to force the White House to comply. But he left little doubt that, if the ne'er-do-wells continue to defy him, he may give the White House another good scolding when Congress returns from recess. And -- who knows? -- he may bring Robin the Boy Wonder (played by Chuck Schumer).

Leahy isn't the first lawmaker to find a place on the big screen. Senatorial colleagues Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) and Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) had cameos in "Traffic," and former congressman Bob Barr inadvertently wound up in "Borat" eating cheese alleged to have been made from human breast milk.

But Leahy's Batman obsession is unique. He had a non-speaking role in the 1997 Batman movie, did a voice-over for an animated Batman series and wrote a foreword for a Batman comic collection. In the Senate, he joined with DC Comics to promote a Batman comic about the dangers of land mines, and DC Comics had a Batman strip drawn in which the senator meets his hero. Two summers ago, Roll Call found him driving a toy Batmobile outside his office.

This time, Leahy is really venturing into the Batcave. He stayed up until 4 a.m. one night this summer filming a scene for the next Batman movie. Roll Call (which dominates the Leahy-Batman beat) reported that the 67-year-old senator "let his hair grow out for the role" -- a neat trick for a man who is almost entirely bald.

Over the weekend, Leahy told Vermont reporters that his movie scene was "pretty tense," but he wouldn't describe his role other than to say he was "referred to as 'the distinguished gentleman.' "

Maybe he was bumping Christian Bale as the Bruce Wayne/Batman lead?

"Anybody can be Batman," the senator said in a brief interview after his news conference. "I'm Robin."

That was a joke, of course. So was his request to the film's producers that he be allowed to wear tights. In truth, Leahy said, he agreed to do the movie only to raise money for his hometown library in Montpelier.

"I don't envision myself as Batman," he clarified.

Neither do those arch-villains in the White House, apparently. They have stalled or ignored Leahy's requests as his committee looks into the wiretapping program and the travails of Gonzales. They have calculated -- accurately so far -- that the Dynamic Duo of Leahy and Schumer would deliver harsh words but no punishment of consequence.

"The time is up. The time is up," Leahy announced yesterday. "We've waited long enough."

But what would Leahy do about it? The first questioner riddled Batman with this.

"The full Judiciary Committee will have to sit down and determine whether to seek contempt from the full Senate," said the noncommittal action hero.

Does that mean he would seek a contempt-of-Congress citation? "What I want to do is get the response to these things," Leahy demurred.

Rebecca Carr of Cox News tried again to pin him down, but Leahy continued to escape. "What we have to find out is what happened here," he answered.

How about withholding money from the administration? "Let's take it step by step," he proposed.

Holy incrementalism, Batman!