On Higher Grounds

For weeks, Tiger Woods has touted the PGA Tour's new FedEx Cup playoffs, whistling the theme to "Rocky III" on TV commercials. Curiously, he was whistling a different tune over the weekend, missing The Barclays event that kicked off the FedEx Cup.

Before we deal with Tiger -- and, trust me, we will deal with Tiger -- let's take a brief look at this FedEx Cup calamity.

It has a labyrinthine point system not easily deciphered by most common minds such as mine, and it has a structure that allows someone such as Woods to skip the first of four "playoff events" but still be in a position to capture the title and first prize worth $10 million.

(Speaking of first prize, it's not even in cash, it's an annuity. I don't even know what an annuity is. It sounds like "in perpetuity," which means something stays the same forever -- in this case, that something is YOU NEVER GET THE CASH.) Now on to Tiger.

He had a reason for passing on the inaugural FedEx Cup -- he was tired.

Woods had just played back-to-back events, including the PGA Championship. "Playing the two weeks in the heat and humidity were mentally and physically draining," he said. "Major championships are grueling experiences and usually necessitate recovery time."

Okay, here are three things that are more "grueling" than playing in a major championship:

1. Climbing Mount Everest.

2. Marrying Britney Spears.

3. Caddying for someone playing in a major championship.

I'm sorry, at the PGA Championship, was Tiger carrying his own clubs? He walked 18 holes a day with no more than the keys to his Buick in his pocket. My goodness, in golf you hit the ball, then stroll a couple of hundred yards and hit it again. And, John Daly notwithstanding, it's a non-contact sport.

He's mentally and physically drained?