The Best-Kept Secrets of Best Men

As these seven individuals can attest, it's not easy being No. 2

Keith Schreffler, Arlington

I WAS JUST AWFUL.

Seventeen years later, it's still one of the few things that I just wish I could go back and do over. I want another chance to get it right. Whenever I go to weddings now, it haunts me. I can't stop thinking about how I should have done it. I start to think, "Was this a last-minute thing? Was I a last-minute stand-in? Why didn't I prepare?" But nope, none of that. I was just bad.

I didn't say anything wrong. I just didn't say anything. I didn't even try to go the humor route. I went the boring, rigid route. It was sincere, but dry, so dry. Afterward, people came up to me and said, "You spoke so clearly." "You were very easy to understand." Those were the compliments.

It's not like we'd grown up together. We'd been bartender buddies for three years. I didn't have any words of wisdom. I was 23. I had words of sitting at the bar putting back some beers and living life to the max. That's not what he wanted to hear at his wedding.

Garrett Stokes, Herndon

I WAS SITTING IN MY EIGHTH-GRADE SCIENCE CLASS, and our teacher, Mr. Rey, says: "Before class starts, I want to introduce a new student, Garrick." He looked around the room and pointed to me and said, "Why don't you go sit by Garrett. I think he'll be a good influence on you."

I couldn't believe it: Garrick and Garrett? Wait, wait and wait. He's on my turf. I told him right away, "You know, we're gonna cause a world of confusion." We've been friends ever since.

So we're sitting at Hard Times, at the bar, with his fiancee, watching the Yankees get their butts kicked. They start talking about the wedding. Garrick gets this big smile on his face, turns to me, puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "I want you to be my best man." I was like, "Awesome!" But Jessica, his fiancee, says, "What? I didn't know we were asking people already!" You'd think something like that would be part of a big conservation, but he just sprung it on me -- and her -- at a bar.

My brother did clue me in on the speech and getting the groom there on time and giving him whatever he needs. First thing he needed was a bachelor party. And I gave it to him. Some highlights: About 15 guys were at my apartment for the pregame, boozing and being stupid. There was some lovely female entertainment. There was so much hootin' and hollerin' that I received a noise violation. A party bus that we managed to turn into a moving mosh pit -- I was doing back flips off the seats -- took us into Adams Morgan. After that, I thankfully can't remember.

My main responsibility the day of the wedding was to keep one of our friends, also in the wedding, from drinking before the reception. That was Garrick's key instruction to me: Keep him sober, and get him to dress up. This is a guy whose dress code is a T-shirt, cutoff shorts and Timberland boots, be it 12 degrees or 90 degrees. To get him in a tux and sober are two monumental tasks I'm proud to say I accomplished.

The thought of me getting married is pretty far-fetched, but I'd pick Garrick. To be one another's best man would be pretty awesome. But he's going to have to do it up right when it comes to my bachelor party. I may not have met the girl, but I know exactly where the party's going to be and what it's going to look like. That's probably why I'm the single one.

John Delacourt, Arlington

WE'RE TWINS, SO AS SOON AS HE GOT ENGAGED, I pretty much knew that I'd be the one doing this. I'd known Scott his whole life, so certainly I was the ideal person.

I immediately started thinking about the toast -- that was the main thing. I put a lot of thought into it because I wanted to do it a little different. Of course, I talked about Sapna, his wife, and I talked about their relationship and how it developed, but I didn't want it to be all inside baseball. So I tried to tie in some pop culture references, quoted some Alanis Morissette lyrics, talked about the naked guy on "Survivor." It was epic, in scope and length.