For Gay Couples, Bonding in New England

"It's fitting that New England has taken on this pilgrimage status for gays and lesbians who want to celebrate their unions together," said Schoof, who runs the Notchland Inn with longtime partner Edward Butler. "We're socially aware, and we know how to make an occasion special."

During the summer, New England nuptials included dozens of civil unions and gay weddings in the states where they're already legal. So far, in all three states, the majority of couples have been women, according to state officials who track marriage and civil union records. They included a large percentage of travelers from out of state.

* Vermont. Since 2000, more than 8,000 same-sex couples have taken advantage of the statute, according to the state's department of health. A gamut of venues -- ranging from posh inns to four-room B&Bs and from small-town Stowe to more urban Burlington -- organize complete civil union packages. Many couples opt for four- to 20-room inns, which can house all the guests and stage the ceremony and reception.

* Massachusetts. More than 10,000 gay and lesbian couples have married in the state since 2004. Provincetown, long one of the most beloved gay summer escapes, has become the "it" place for marriage. More than 1,800 gay couples have registered to exchange vows in the seaside resort town, by the account of town hall authorities. In recent years, P'town has attracted more lesbians than gay men, more vacationers in their 30s and older than 20-somethings, and more folks wheeling around in BMWs than Fords.

But a well-organized group of wedding vendors -- including inns offering packages, bands, cakemakers and DJs -- can make just about any style or size occasion happen. A ceremony on Boston Harbor Island, including a clambake, is one of several options offered by It's About Time, a Boston agency that specializes in same-sex ceremonies. That celebration costs about $50 a person.

* Connecticut. Since the state began allowing civil unions in 2005, more than 1,500 couples have taken advantage of the option. The cities of New Haven, Hartford and Greenwich are the most popular settings for ceremonies, according to state tourism officials.

The posh Wake Robin Inn in Lakeville, the Sheraton Hartford and the Hartford Marriott Farmington are hotels promoting civil union packages. In its civil union packages, the Wake Robin charges start at $35 a person for rehearsal dinners and $99 a person for celebration dinners.

Indeed, with the vast variety of cities, towns and individual venues throughout New England, there is a setting for just about any imaginable style of same-sex wedding or civil union.

"Each of the states in the region is different, and every place offers a different atmosphere or ceremony package," said Newman, the Highlands Inn owner. "It's refreshing that same-sex couples who want an official ceremony now have so many choices."