The Curse: Filmed in Washington, Flopped at Box Office

As Russell Crowe and Leo DiCaprio started fighting on the Mall yesterday, we prayed: Please . . . let this one be good for Washington!

Because for all of the excitement about "Body of Lies," the Ridley Scott spy thriller wrapping up three weeks of filming here, it seems that most of the big Hollywood A-list projects that have recently graced our city have, quite frankly, tanked embarrassingly at the box office:

* "Talk to Me" (story of D.C. broadcaster Petey Greene): $4.5 million domestically.

* "The Invasion" (Nicole Kidman flees D.C. bodysnatchers): $14.8 million.

* "Thank You for Smoking" (lobbyist high jinks): $24.8 million.

* "Breach" (real-life FBI spy-catcher drama): $33 million.

* "The Sentinel" (Kiefer Sutherland as a Secret Service agent): $36.3 million.

* "Man of the Year" (Robin Williams runs for prez): $37. 2 million.

In fact, it seems the more D.C. it has, the worse a movie does. Recent box-office champs purportedly set here, like "Live Free or Die Hard" and "Mission: Impossible 3," just gave the cursory drive-past-the-Capitol treatment. (And yeah, yeah, "The Wedding Crashers" made $209 million, but that was more than two years ago -- don't mess with our trend analysis.)

Does America hate Washington? The D.C. Office of Motion Picture and Television Development did not get back to us yesterday, busy as they are helping to lure Brad Pitt and Shia LaBeouf to upcoming film shoots here that will no doubt end their careers.

Can "Body of Lies" elude the Washington Curse? Sure, says our set source, noting that very little of the movie is actually set here. Despite three weeks of filming around here, yesterday's shoot (Crowe and DiCaprio in a "heated argument" by the pond near the Vietnam Memorial) was the only time that D.C. played D.C. Otherwise, Eastern Market stood in for Amsterdam, Baltimore played Munich, Annapolis served as Virginia, and an old office building in Gaithersburg served as CIA and NSA headquarters.

After two more days of filming here, "Body of Lies" moves off to Morocco.

This Just In...

* A court commissioner ordered Britney Spears (left) to hire a parenting coach to show her how to raise her children, according to documents posted on TMZ last night. The L.A. court scolded the pop singer for "habitual, frequent" drug and alcohol use -- but also denied her ex-husband Kevin Federline's request to have more custody of their two kids, now shared 50-50.

* MSNBC's marquee liberal Keith Olbermann is back home after an emergency appendectomy. His appendix ruptured last Wednesday, but Olbermann chalked it up to a "stomach aliment," anchored the cable network's coverage of President Bush's speech Thursday, and didn't see a doctor until Friday.

* The White Stripes have now canceled all 2007 tour dates because drummer Meg White is suffering from "acute anxiety" and is unable to travel. The band was promoting its latest album, "Icky Thump."

Bag Watch

Week 2: Lots of speculation, but still no word on which Washington purse fanatic spent 52K for the Louis Vuitton Tribute Patchwork, this summer's insane-looking designer tote. We cornered the socialite/fashionista Cindy Jones (sporting the fall '07 Gucci python-with-gunmetal-trim bag) at Monday's farewell for Saks PR director Andrew Blecher and asked if she had the Patchwork in her closet. "Absolutely not!" she laughed. Even Blecher -- the plugged-in darling of ladies-who-lunch -- told us he had no clue. "We usually hear about big purchases; that's why it's so baffling to me," he said, hinting that the D.C. bag lady might be a myth. "Where is this person and why haven't we seen it?"

A manager at the tony LV boutique in Chevy Chase confirmed yesterday that the bag was indeed purchased from the store, but resisted all attempts to ID the buyer or when the tote was delivered.