How to Audition for Reality TV? Cry Over Britney.

Chris Crocker's wails for Britney Spears on YouTube earned the 19-year-old online notoriety and a television deal.
Chris Crocker's wails for Britney Spears on YouTube earned the 19-year-old online notoriety and a television deal. (Youtube)
By Lisa de Moraes
Thursday, September 20, 2007

You know that guy who goes by the name Chris Crocker, who generated 8 million hits on YouTube in one week railing against the media for making fun of Britney Spears for profit?

Now he's used poor BritBrit for profit, landing a development deal with production house 44 Blue, which plans to develop a "docusoap" in which Crocker's front and center.

"He's going to be a TV star," 44 Blue President Rasha Drachkovitch told trade paper Variety.

"It's going to pretty much be the 'Chris Crocker experience.' "

Crocker -- who recently told Salon that's not his real name but the one he uses to protect himself from homophobic threats -- lives with his grandmother in Tennessee. The 19-year-old was not new to YouTube, having already become something of a mini-celeb for his many other videos before posting the Britney rant that made him "famous" after her much-derided Video Music Awards "comeback" meltdown.

In his video, Crocker sobs: "How [expletive] dare anyone out there make fun of Britney after all she's been through!

"She lost her aunt, went through a divorce, she had two [same expletive] kids, her husband turned out to be a user and cheater and now she's going through a custody battle! All you people care about is readers and making money off of her. She's a human!" weeps Crocker, eyeliner running down his left cheek.

"What you don't realize is that Britney is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her! She hasn't performed onstage in years -- her song is called 'Gimme More' for a reason, because all you people want is more, more, MORE ! Leave her alone! You're lucky she even performed for you bastards! . . . Leave Britney alone -- Please !

"Leave Britney Spears alone right now ! I mean it! Anyone who has a problem with her, you deal with me! Because she is not well right now. Leave her alone!"

Crocker has already spawned a cottage industry of Chris Crocker Mockers on YouTube. That includes one video in which a middle-age guy claims to be Crocker's dad and does the exact same rant, only wondering where he went wrong as a father. In another, comic Seth Green "defends" Crocker in a Crockeresque rant, while reapplying eyeliner between tears.

* * *

One week before the official start of the 2007-08 TV season and we already have some good ratings news -- and some bad.

First, the bad: Fox's "Prison Break" suffered a series low in its third-season kickoff Monday, posting just 7.5 million viewers, and it's gonna get worse from there because it was on against almost no original programming. Last year's "Prison Break" opener logged nearly 2 million more viewers.

Now, the good news: Fox's new cop drama "K-ville," set in New Orleans, managed to build on its "Prison Break" lead-in, logging just under 9 million viewers, 22 percent more than "PB."

The next night, CW's "Beauty and the Geek" opened its fourth edition with its second-smallest debut audience ever, 3.4 million viewers.

It's the first time "B&G" has debuted in the fall. Last season's January launch logged 5 million viewers, as did the previous January's second-season starter. Only the series unveiling in June '05 copped a smaller number -- 3.2 million -- than Tuesday's season kickoff.

© 2007 The Washington Post Company