An Incursion of Briefs at Guantanamo

Date: Aug. 29, 2007

"I will confess that I have never received such an extraordinary letter in my entire career. Knowing you as I do, I hope you understand that I do not attribute this allegation to your personally. Obviously, however, I take accusations that I may have committed a criminal act very seriously. . . . I also hope you understand my frustration at yet another unfounded accusation against lawyers who are simply trying to do their job -- a job that involves legal briefs, not the other sort.

. . . First, neither I, nor Mr. Katznelson [attorney for other detainee found with briefs], nor anyone else associated with us has had anything to do with smuggling 'unmentionables' into these men, nor would we ever do so.

Second, the idea that we could smuggle in underwear is farfetched. As you know, anything we take in is searched and there is a camera in the room when we visit the client. Does someone seriously suggest that Mr. Katznelson or I have been stripping off to deliver underpants to our clients? . . .

I had never heard of 'Under Armor briefs' until you mentioned them, and my internet research has advanced my knowledge in two ways -- first, Under Armour apparently sports a 'U' in its name, which is significant only because it helps with the research.

Second, and rather more important, this line of underpants are very popular among the military. . . . It would be worth checking whether this lingerie was purchased from the NEX [Navy Exchange store] there in GTMO, since the internet again leads one to suspect that the NEX would be purveyors of Under Armour . . . perhaps you might check the label to see whether these are 'tactical' underwear, as this is apparently something Under Armour has created specially for the military. . . . I don't mean to say that it is an open and shut case proving that your military provided the underwear, as I understand that other people use Under Armour. One group I noticed on the web were the amateur weight lifters, who seem confused as to whether Under Armour give them a competitive advantage.

However, in the grand scheme of things, I would think we can all agree that the interrogators or military officers are more likely to have access to Messrs. Aamer and el Gharani than the U.S. Amateur Power Lifting Association.